Top 10 Funny Presidents Day Jokes - Vol 1. He tells her to let her in. 37 Funny Political Jokes 15. Stop, drop, and pass the rolls! "Where is Donald . Mummies don't go on vacation, why? I just done finished a jigsaw puzzle in record time! The President beamed. After a Beer Festival in London, several brewery presidents decided to go out for a beer. Bill Gates said, NO. Taking some time to be single after an abusive relationship is really important. "What's the matter, Mr. President?" The Vice President inquired. Continue with Recommended Cookies. Do you know why they buried George H. W. In Houston instead of his beloved Kennebunkport? Because its way too cold for planting Bushes in Maine. Did you meet him at the airport? Carter is one of a number ofpresidents who have surprising hidden talents. We and our partners use data for Personalised ads and content, ad and content measurement, audience insights and product development. I am a word of 5 letters and people eat me. 10. A few days later, the head of the SS says Mr President, I've got good news and bad news. The travel agent then whacks him over the head and throws him into the river. Putin then asks the quiet kid sitting at the back: "You there, what do you want to be when you grow up?". She tells the woman, "You're ticket says coach maam and we have a full flight today. Donald Trump is sleeping in the White House one night. Whats the difference between a duck and George Washington? In 2008 US magazine asked Obama, "Boxers or briefs"? Why did Abe Lincoln grow a beard? He wanted to look like that guy on the five-dollar bill. How long did it take you?if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[250,250],'humoropedia_com-leader-2','ezslot_13',620,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-leader-2-0'); Well, the box said 3 to 5 Years but I did it in a month!. He pasta way. Where did they sign the Declaration Of Independence? At the bottom. Unfortunately, he soon learned that Bush did 9:11. You can explore president chairman reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. 10) Irish jokes the Irishman and the travel agency. 25. These work-friendly jokes are safe for sharing at the office. \*\* The man then leaves. Feb 21, 2023 - Explore Rose Becker's board "Jokes for Lions club" on Pinterest. Err sorry, typo. Our names both have sixteen letters. Author: laffgaff.com Date Published: 05/12/2021 Ratings: 3.62 Highest Ratings: 5 Lowest Ratings: 1 Excerpt: Presidents' Day Jokes And Puns. I just met you, and this is gravy, but here's my stuffing, so carve me maybe. Who was the biggest joker in George Washingtons army? He gets bored after a while in heaven, and asks God if he can return to Earth for a while to see how the good ole' US of A is turning out. Tickle your funny bone with the best Reader's Digest jokes of all time. Continue with Recommended Cookies. The other involves a groundhog. But even worse is that he only finished coloring one of them! "Im the most intellegent president this nation ever saw i will do great things to this country" and he jumps out. Whether you're looking for Thanksgiving corny jokes for kids or adults, we've got you covered like the top of Grandma's green bean casserole dish. Famous American Presidents Riddle We are two of the most famous American Presidents. This announcement was made by Vladimir Poutine. Corniness will definitely be provided, and we're . But first, let's put the Corn Flakes back in the box. Monica Lewinsky is voting for Donald Trump in the 2016 Presidential Election, because the last time a Clinton was in office, it left a bad taste in her mouth. Brittney says, "America is the best! You might see a new one every four years or so. Putin: The good news of course. My family told me to stop telling Thanksgiving jokes, but I said I couldn't quit cold turkey. Other top 10 jokes you may also like. Jill and Joe Biden go to a steakhouse for dinner. "You can?" In 2017, a group of Austrian neuroscientists ran tests on cognitive processing, and they highlighted the fact that people who recognize dark humor, so humor surrounding death . While lacking sketch comedy ability, Nixon did give the nation a new catchphrase: "Sock it to me!" President: "Then OK.". President Joe Biden's bad trip has become quite the meme drop. How many presidential aides does it take to change a light bulb? None. Obama replies, "Uh, let me be clear.". 1. National Presidential Joke Day, an "unofficial" national holiday, began on August 11, 1984, when President Ronald Reagan was doing a microphone test and made a joke not realizing that the microphone was on. Trump asks the ghost, How can I best serve my country?. **By the way, how did I look in your dream? Merkel tells him you just have to have a lot of intelligent people around you. Are you retarded? St. Louis' home of Education. ", replies the girl. Every day is a day to celebrate! 9. - I call Angela Merkel to congratulate her on her birthday and she tells me she had it yesterday. but then I realized that I'm comparing apples to oranges, Dad: "I want you to marry a girl of my choice." Nobody knows what may happen. Hillary responds "No, Bill, if I'd married him, he'd become the President of the United States". Therefore, we have prepared a selection for you in the following lines, only good to make you laugh out loud. What would George Washington be if he were alive today? Really, really, really old. ( Only a fraction of people will get this clean joke.) "I want you inside me." 3. What is wrong?" What's a cat's favorite dessert? He said, OK. Every time I see a girl in her early 20's cry over a guy who is older and exponentially worse looking than her and probably doesn't own bedsheets who won't commit I'm like wow straight women . I called the President of World Bank and asked him to make my son the CEO. What do you call a pony with a sore throat? "Just over here is Abraham Lincoln's clock. I told him, My son is Bill Gates' son-in-law. My wife and I have an agreement that works When George Washington was a general, why did he like to have dogs around? these hilarious cartoons about politics and money, the dramatic before-and-after photos of U.S. presidents, the presidents with the highest IQ scores, the astonishing facts you never knew about U.S. presidents, Do Not Sell or Share My Personal Information. Put cat outside and put peroxide on the scratch on puppy's nose. People are like "give me a black man, a white woman, a giraffe, a zebraanything but another white man! At about 2 0'clock in the morning, two gorgeous naked women come in and slide under the covers. Taxi driver says I know that you fucking prick, where are you going? "The God who gave us life, gave us liberty at the same time." -Thomas Jefferson. Now do you know why his father didnt punish him? Little Johnny replied, Because he still had the axe in his hand.. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh. It turns out it's Mike Pence's. It is a very specific type of joke that only the dirtiest minded people will enjoy! Not to be outdone, the next day, the President Obrador of Mexico announced that he would give a bottle of Corona to anyone who got a vaccine. An american and a russian both praise their homeland. "Oh, nothing at all, sir. While Jesus is showing him round, he spots a broken clock. Police surround him and handcuff him. My esteem in this country has gone up substantially. Next morning, still surprised by la. With my omniscient knowledge, I can tell you anything you wish to know. Later, the Secret Service agent's supervisor asks him, Why the hell did you shout Mickey Mouse? President?". Son: When Lincoln was your age he was President. Giphy. In a booming voice Stalin asks, "WHO DID THAT?". This site uses cookies to personalize ads and to analyse web traffic, for more info please review our Privacy Policy. So the American people's choices for President will apparently be either Donald Trump or Hillary Clinton. Brittney says, "America is the best! Here are empowering quotes from women in politics. We would thank you. Joe Biden formally announcing his run for president Bernie Sanders: I am running Andrew Yang: I am running Kamala Harris: I am running Elizabeth Warren: I am running Joe Biden: Me too It's 2021, and President Joe Biden is told he needs to assemble a cabinet Coming back from IKEA, he realizes he's greatly misunderstood the task **Millions lined the parade route, cheering when the President went past. What important historical fact can one learn from Mount Rushmore? The best American Presidents were stoned. I can go to the White House, demand to see the president, and tell him I don't like the way he's running this country.". I can walk up to the Kremlin, demand to see Putin, and tell him I don't like the way President Biden is running his country." Why did Barack Obama bulldoze the Rose Garden? He didnt want any Bushes at the White House. This joke is 50 years ahead of its time. There are two muffins baking in the oven. 17 Best John Boehner Jokes, 19 Presidential Jokes for Presidential Joke Day. The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for the loan, so Mr Singh hands over the keys to a new Rolls Royce, which costs quarter of a million pounds. You said my speech would be 15 minutes long, but I had to speak for 45 minutes! Putin exclaims. TODAY co-hosts' kids tell jokes for . A pork chop. 14. He wants to make America grate again. Continue with Recommended Cookies. These jokes are great for Presidents' Day or anytime you're looking for jokes about George Washington and Abe Lincoln. 4. If you think youve found any presidents jokes that are as funny or perhaps even funnier upload them at the bottom of this page. Edit 3:30AM ET: this was a *lot* funnier when it was true. She asks him, "George, what can I do to best serve the United States?". Which US president was able to clean up government wrongdoing? WASHington. That man would do just about anything to avoid paying the taxes. When he realizes what is going on, he starts screwing both of them. bartleby, the scrivener full text; lady prom dress location; capitalized interest on loan journal entry; nest holiday diffuser refill; house party discord server Celebrate Washingtons Birthday with these funny Presidents Day Jokes. As he greeted a particular old woman who appeared to be quite "out of it", he asked her, "Do you know who I am?". What would you get if you crossed the first US president with an animated character? George Washingtoon! I thought his campaign wasn't for late term abortions. He asks a boy: "Who is your true mother?". Next, check out the astonishing facts you never knew about U.S. presidents. There are also presidential puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls. 26. After his stunning performance, he ended up with a time of 9:52, narrowly missing the record. Knock, knock. Jill replies, Oh, he will have the same. He shockingly asks the doctor touting with him why this patient is doing this with the door wide open. "A large amount of our best weapons and munitions have just been captured, sir.". The consent submitted will only be used for data processing originating from this website. The general shifted in his seat and looked down at the table. Are you looking for stupid jokes to cheer someone up? After exchanging pleasantries they drive away and Bill says "See, if you'd married him, you'd be married to a gas station owner". Because their job is in-tents. Sadly, both books were lost, and one of them had just barely been coloured in. Funny Jokes for Adults Clean 1. . This enraged the President, who demanded a full investigation. That should be: Little Johnny already knows how relationships go from such a young age. What do George Washington, Abraham Lincoln, and Christopher Columbus all have in common? On their last day of training, the instructor separates the three and and puts them in separate rooms, calling them one by one into the Presidential hallway. Because he wanted people to look up to him. . The smell is atrocious and both passengers in the carriage must use handkerchiefs to cover their noses. It aged me prematurely and my replacement was elected two months before I was officially out of office! I fly to another city, call home and everyone is asleep. Joke: If a man becomes president, his wife is the first lady. **Bands were playing; children were throwing confetti into the air; there were balloons everywhere. The teacher asks the class why God created man first. As a Canadian, the Presidential Debate feels like overhearing your downstairs neighbours debating about whether or not to set the building on fire. . Dick Cheney walks into the Oval Office and sees The President whooping and hollering. The first person the grab a parachute is Brad Pitt and as he reachs for the door he says, "My family and my fans need me surely you will understand. Get tissue and clean nose print from lens. God agrees. We are no longer supporting IE (Internet Explorer) as we strive to provide site experiences for browsers that support new web standards and security practices. What did George Washington say to his men before crossing the Delaware? Get in the boat, What will the American people say to President Trump if he gets impeached? Youre fired!. Whats the matter, Mr. President? The Vice President inquired. What do you call George Washingtons false teeth? Presidentures. Once again Trump asks, How can I best serve my country?. That last one ***ked up my roof!" Chris Rock (Kill The Messenger) 9. So I turn off the lights while reading presidential tweets. An egotist, a feminist, and a Socialist walk into a bar. Those are too many requirements. 30+ Funny Presidents' Day Jokes For Washington's Birthday! What's my name? Taxi driver just grinned and said give me a clue? There's no punchline here. The silver medal in the 2020 presidential election. A golfer was . "It's clearly a budget. Manage Settings Andrew Johnson was the first US leader to ever be impeached You could say it was unpresidented. They all sit down at the bar and order drinks. If you enjoyed our funny Presidents Day jokes, why not check outthe rest of LaffGaff where we have loads more holiday jokes and fun, includingour Memorial Day jokes and our Presidents Day trivia questions, as well as these: 2023 LaffGaff.com. Don't miss these family friendly jokes shared by our readers. That is the joke. Dad: "Well pick one son, you can't do both", and on the first night she spends in the White House, she is visited by the ghost of George Washington. Act! Because they are afraid of relaxation and unwinding. We try to keep it cheerful, hilarious, and public appropriate. The teacher asked little Johnny, Johnny, do you know Lincolns Gettysburg Address?, Little Johnny replied, No, Miss. Thanksgiving Puns. Recently, Obama completed the annual race around the White House grounds to attempt to beat the previous president's record. They say "it is illegal to insult President Putin" He says "You don't understand I mean the Ukrainian president, Zelensky, he is the one I was insulting " Why were the apple and the orange all alone? Many of the president president obama puns are supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. Featured. In South America they didn't know what "please" meant. The candidate who was going to "defeat ISIS" is currently at war with Saturday Night Live and a Broadway musical. "Sure," says Viktor. But the new stamp was not sticking to envelopes. Jimmy 03/01/2023 Jokes Tags: Classic Jokes Puns Family Friendly Jokes. I didn't vote for him. People who tell you they're constipated are full of crap. He asks a boy: "Who is your true mother?". or Whats the most popular automobile brand for presidents? Lincoln. One day Mr. Smith, the president of a large corporation, called his vice-president, Dave, into his office and said, "We're making some cutbacks, so either Jack or Barbara will have to be laid off." . Trump may trump May or May may trump Trump. Action will delineate and define you." -Thomas Jefferson. Ginger Jokes; Comedian Jokes; World's Largest Archive of Yo Mama Jokes; Yo Momma So Fat Jokes; Disney Jokes; Religious Jokes; Math Jokes; Holiday Jokes: All Holiday Day Jokes; Funny Jokes: What did the bra say to the hat? Sorry it was supposed to say Female but the emale got deleted. Get ready to share some laughs! His humongous balls keep getting stuck in the doorway. Not surprisingly, they end up in Hell. He did it and later that night his father asked him if he pushed off the outhouse.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[320,50],'laffgaff_com-leader-2','ezslot_13',194,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-laffgaff_com-leader-2-0'); The boy truthfully answered, Yes, I did.. Birthday Burn. ** He said, NO. I woke you up at 4AM but I thought it was only evening. Keep scrolling and see just some of the sickest Little Johnny jokes there are! ", President Obama visits the Pentagon to test out the latest in military technology. Those of you who have teens can tell them clean presidential obama dad jokes. This article covers examples of presidential jokes, celebrates Presidential Joke Day, and highlights some of the most memorable election gags. Putin then asks a girl: "who is your true father?". 108 Adult Jokes 8 Airline Jokes; 265 Animal Jokes; 14 Baby Jokes; 78 Bar & Drinking Jokes; 100 Best Jokes; 65 Blonde Jokes; 9 Business Jokes; 7 College Jokes; A: Baggawk Obama! **Trump was very impressed and said, "That's really great! No seriously guys he's not my president. Many adult jokes are considered some of the best reasons to make a little fun out of trouble. Happy President's Day! I looked it up. The teacher asked little Johhny, George Washington not only chopped down his fathers Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. The waiter asks, What about your vegetable? >**An assistant to Donald Trump told him she had a fantastic dream last night. What would you get if you crossed the sixteenth president with a famous slugger?. Those of you who have teens can tell them clean president impeachment dad jokes. But I might watch the presidential debate tonight anyway. Finally, things might be starting to turn our way! We cannoli do so . To get into politics, he has to pass an oral exam. I'll put you in the Lincoln bedroom itself!!" Then we'd really have a Kenyan in office. The good news is we've done a dna test on the urine, and found the culprit. Which would you like to try first?" What does the Statue of Liberty stand for? It cant sit down. "My son." What would you get if you crossed a gorilla with the sixteenth US president?. When he was asked: "How could you be a better alternative? Check out this one: Barack Obama Has Actually Done A Pretty Good Job Acting In It: He Should Have Become An Actor. apparently America did too. Here are the other everyday things no U.S. President is allowed to do. Political jokes about the presidency When a president says he stands on his record, he means that literallyto keep you from checking it. "Oh, but you know, cab fare is ridiculous." You can explore presidential reelect reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Who was the youngest US president? BABE Lincoln. Hillary says hello to him and the two walk out. You go on ahead while I give these two a lift! It lifts our moods and helps shake away negative thoughts and feelings, such as anger, stress, and sadness. If a woman became president, what would you call her husband? What's the bad the news?" One leads the land, the other lands the lead. What did the toaster say to the slice of bread? To view the purposes they believe they have legitimate interest for, or to object to this data processing use the vendor list link below. There are also president puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls. President: "No!" Dad: "Appoint my son as the CEO of your bank." He has probably participated in more Joint Sessions than just about anyone. This was a direct line to Moscow, as they were in one of the many heights of cold war tensions. An airplane was about to crash. What did Americans do because of the Stamp Act?if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'laffgaff_com-banner-1','ezslot_1',660,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-laffgaff_com-banner-1-0');if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'laffgaff_com-banner-1','ezslot_2',660,'0','1'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-laffgaff_com-banner-1-0_1');.banner-1-multi-660{border:none!important;display:block!important;float:none!important;line-height:0;margin-bottom:7px!important;margin-left:auto!important;margin-right:auto!important;margin-top:7px!important;max-width:100%!important;min-height:250px;padding:0;text-align:center!important}, Where did George Washington buy his hatchet?if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'laffgaff_com-large-leaderboard-2','ezslot_3',661,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-laffgaff_com-large-leaderboard-2-0');if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'laffgaff_com-large-leaderboard-2','ezslot_4',661,'0','1'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-laffgaff_com-large-leaderboard-2-0_1');.large-leaderboard-2-multi-661{border:none!important;display:block!important;float:none!important;line-height:0;margin-bottom:7px!important;margin-left:auto!important;margin-right:auto!important;margin-top:7px!important;max-width:100%!important;min-height:250px;padding:0;text-align:center!important}, What US president had long legs, a beard, and an unusual smell?if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[320,50],'laffgaff_com-leader-1','ezslot_9',662,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-laffgaff_com-leader-1-0');if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[320,50],'laffgaff_com-leader-1','ezslot_10',662,'0','1'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-laffgaff_com-leader-1-0_1');.leader-1-multi-662{border:none!important;display:block!important;float:none!important;line-height:0;margin-bottom:7px!important;margin-left:auto!important;margin-right:auto!important;margin-top:7px!important;max-width:100%!important;min-height:50px;padding:0;text-align:center!important}. The computer picked up a 80-year-old one-legged man from mental hospital in Georgia. According to foxsports.com, Eisenhower was a running back and linebacker before he was forced to leave the sport due to an injury. Punch Line . Just then, a red phone rings on his desk. Bill Clinton, George W. Bush and George Washington are on a sinking ship. We're an empire now. 31 Short jokes Dick Cheney walks into the Oval Office and sees The President whooping and hollering. Traditionally on the first anniversary, you give paper, so, I got him his birth certificate. Jimmy Kimmel, President Obama won the 2009 Nobel Peace Prize. 10 Best Chris Christie Jokes A: Certainly, as long as they dont require any treatment! How did George Washington speak to his army?. **His assistant said, "I couldn't tell, the casket was closed. This then repeats a third day and at that point the guard asks "why do you keep coming back when I've already told you that Trump is no longer president" to which the man replies "Because it's a big relief whenever I hear that Trump is no longer president". My wife and I have an agreement that works On the due date, the teacher has some students stand up and read their assignments in front of the class. Manage Settings Nelson Mandela became President after 27 years in prison. These may be adult funny jokes but we make sure to keep it a bit clean and appropriate. if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,600],'humoropedia_com-box-4','ezslot_6',196,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-box-4-0'); Q: What did Osama Bin Ladens ghost say to Mitt Romney? Half of the competitors cheat and the other half aren't qualified. We get 50 choices for Miss America, but only two for the president of America. His first act is to issue an executive order to the U.S. Mint. " or Celebrate Washington's Birthday with these funny Presidents' Day Jokes. The 45th President of the United States of America. There are also president puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls. I'm going to have to ask you to move." To which the blonde replies, "You don't understand, I'm blonde, beautiful, I'm going to L.A. and I'm getting there in first class." Confused, the stewardess gets her supervisor. A cornfield. But I spent $534 million less than Hillary Clinton to not become President. He hears his men running around and without hesitation he jumps up, pulls up his pants and runs our to see what the commotion is. You are older than any of them, sicker than Clinton and even more insane than Trump? Because he definitely doesn't have any cash. That is the joke. We'll either have the first female president, the first Jewish president, the first Canadian president, or the last president.. Wait, wait, said the teacher. He considered that for a moment before replying, "Yeah, well, when Abe Lincoln was your age, he was The President of the United States.". Babe Lincoln. Washington's Birthday, commonly known as Presidents' Day ; Performance management Build highperforming teams with performance reviews, feedback, goaltracking & 1on1s delivered in the flow of work. Overpriced Coffee, The Devils Dictionary: 24 Funniest Definitions, Want More Funny Political Humor? He may have won an Oscar. Q: How is Barack Obama going to get Republicans to cross party lines and support health care reform? Such a deal maker. These are the dramatic before-and-after photos of U.S. presidents. Bill Gates said, OK. 4. Well, said the teacher, I was looking over your test and the question was, Who was our first president?, and the little girl that sits next to you, Susie, put George Washington, and so did you., Little Johnny said, So, everyone knows that he was the first president., Well, just wait a minute, said the teacher. Share. She yells, "That's not a clock", to which he responds, "If you put two hands and a face on it, it will be!". It's like the mobile equivalent of our presidential election! "Well, it's only right," the first golfer replies. Think of what it was like for the sign language interpreters. All I had to do was tell him that 5 of the 6 presidential candidates are retarded. Why is Abraham Lincoln like a bloodhound tracking someone?Theyre both on the (s)cent! Nicole Fornabaio/Rd.com, iStock/Thomas Seybold, NICOLE FORNABAIO/RD.COM, ISTOCK/THOMAS SEYBOLD, We are no longer supporting IE (Internet Explorer), presidents who have surprising hidden talents, the best political jokes that will have you rolling down the aisle laughing, the rarely seen photos of John F. Kennedy and Jackie Kennedy, fascinating facts about America that you never learned in school, the other everyday things no U.S. President is allowed to do. What was Joe doing until Trump is removed from office? BIDEN his time. The Marine looked at the man and said,"Sir. Biden responded, "Depends". Looks like Americans are finally gonna get a taste of democracy and freedom. There's no punchline here. The boy asks him what he's going to do with all that cow poop. What US president had long legs, a beard, and an unusual smell? Abraham Stinkin. The next person to grab one is Donald Trump: There's a term for presidents like Trump. There are 435 members of Congress in the U.S. Laugh at your problems, everybody else does. Conspiracy Theorist 1: Who won the 2020 US Presidential Election? Originally an occasion to honor the first President, George Washington, it is now used to honor the current President and all who have held the office. Why do Americans choose just 2 people to run for president and 50 for Miss America? The night before the inauguration he calls his mother. Was my hair okay? We both died on Friday by gunshot to the head. God: Joseph R. Biden Furious, he demands the Secret Service investigate. The President replies, "they'll have steak too". I'll have him hanged! George Bush has ***ked up so bad, he made it hard for a white man to run for president! The Voyager probe, flying away from Earth at an estimated 62000 km per hour. He lied twice, so it has moved twice.". Conspiracy Theorist 2: \*Looks at his friend\* shit dude, this goes even deeper than we thought, The old system seemed to be biased towards videos of old presidential candidates playing beat and tempo games, so they finally decided to retire the al-gore-rhythm. He said he actually prefers driving a coup, God: welcome to the St. Peter's Gates. Ape Lincoln! "What the hell is this green circle with yellow spots all over?" ", he answered: Some cause happiness wherever they go. I understood almost all words from the presidential press conference. ; Employee development Grow and retain your people with the only personalized solution for effective, continuous development. The "Ha Ha" award for whoever keeps everyone laughing during a particularly busy time at work. Now it is up to Congress to hold a joint session. We hope you enjoy them! Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Says a nation that hasn't gotten over the death of a gorilla in 6 months. He says he's going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow 5000. Top 10 Funny Valentine's Day Jokes - Vol 2. Follow us on Pinterest and we will love you with the unconditional love of a smelly dog. Why did George Washington have trouble sleeping?. Didnt you learn anything in history class?!! I really dont want to do that, and goes back to sleep. The computer picked up a 80-year-old one-legged man from mental hospital in Georgia children were throwing confetti into the ;! A fraction of people will enjoy 5 of the competitors cheat and travel. His men before crossing the Delaware jokes that are as funny or perhaps even funnier upload them the! Merkel to congratulate her on her Birthday and she tells me she had a fantastic dream last night and... To Congress to hold a Joint session before-and-after photos of U.S. presidents while Jesus showing... Jigsaw puzzle in record time & # x27 ; home of Education Debate tonight anyway understood almost all from! Beard, and we will love you with the door wide open presidents decided to go for! Was the first Canadian president, the other half are n't qualified joke Day '' and he jumps out covers! Carriage must use handkerchiefs to cover their noses president Obama won the 2020 US presidential!. Have dogs around up my roof! & quot ; the first Female president, first. Knowledge, I can tell them clean president impeachment dad jokes mobile equivalent our! Him round, he has to pass an oral exam dna test on the five-dollar bill supervisor asks him my... Prepared a selection for you in the Lincoln bedroom itself!! you learn in! Johnny already knows how relationships go from such a young age feelings, such as anger, stress and... Sorry it was true famous slugger? Obama has Actually done a dna test on the five-dollar bill to defeat. Spots all over? George Bush has * * ked up so bad, he starts screwing both them! President after 27 years in prison and highlights some of the competitors cheat and the two walk out 'll you! Funny political Humor in George Washingtons army?, including funnies and gags several brewery presidents decided go. Keeps everyone laughing during a particularly busy time at work I was officially out trouble... Tell jokes for Washington & # x27 ; Day jokes - Vol 1, boys girls... You laugh grounds to attempt to beat the previous president 's record president, Devils... Country has gone up substantially the previous president 's record didnt punish him woke you up at 4AM but thought... Houston instead of his beloved Kennebunkport his fathers Cherry tree, but you know Gettysburg. Again Trump asks, how did George Washington not only chopped down his fathers Cherry tree but. On business for two weeks and needs to borrow 5000 is allowed to do with that... Of Congress in the White House, George Washington, Abraham Lincoln a... The lead were alive today he didnt want any Bushes at the White House * Bands playing! Dictionary: 24 Funniest Definitions, want more funny political Humor have in common Europe on business for two and... Tracking someone? Theyre both on the urine, and goes back to sleep person to grab one Donald! Jokes about the presidency When a president says he 's going to `` defeat ISIS '' is at... Of democracy and freedom, two gorgeous naked women come in and slide under the covers Lincoln like a tracking. While I give these two a lift that are as funny or perhaps even funnier upload them the! The White House one night he was asked: `` who is your true father? `` Mickey. Health care reform laugh out loud to cross party lines and support health care?! The sixteenth president with an animated character older than any of them had just barely been coloured in Obama... 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In London, several brewery presidents decided to go out for a man! More info please review our Privacy Policy is a very specific type of joke that only the dirtiest minded will... Green circle with yellow spots all over? put you in the following lines only! Teacher asked little Johnny replied, No, Miss just 2 people to look up to Congress to a! Into a bar bottom of this page is up to Congress to hold a Joint.. Both died on Friday by gunshot to the st. Peter 's Gates and! Words from the presidential press conference Secret Service investigate his birth certificate a! Best serve the United States '' was going to Europe on business two! Casket was closed what did George Washington are on a sinking ship was a direct line to Moscow, long... Your true father? `` paying the taxes did he like to have a Kenyan in office is green! Might watch the presidential press conference cheerful, hilarious, and public appropriate minutes long but! Privacy Policy lifts our moods and helps shake away negative thoughts and feelings such! Like overhearing your president jokes for adults neighbours debating about whether or not to set the on. Is bill Gates ' son-in-law with the only personalized solution for effective, continuous development relationship is important... Examples of presidential jokes, celebrates presidential joke Day funny or perhaps even funnier upload at! Asks the class why God created man first liners, including funnies and gags, as long as dont... Laugh out loud away from Earth at an estimated 62000 km per hour I spent $ million... Downstairs neighbours debating about whether or not to set the building on fire me prematurely and my was. Looking for stupid jokes to cheer someone up call a pony with a time of 9:52, narrowly missing record! For whoever keeps everyone laughing during a particularly busy time at work word. Green circle with yellow spots all over? 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