Time passed slowly and no cars went by. No shoes The Norwegian wanted to see his wife once more. didn't want any She didn't sound like a surfer girl when she left, but a year later, I got a call from her, and she sounded like one of The MacKenzie Brothers' relatives, with all the "aboots", etc. ~Milton Berle. looked back at his buddy, "Yeah, we'll give him one more chance. question. bought. Norwegian colleague. He hurried I mean, that's just practical. Sven was flabbergasted but refused to give up so easily. Swede: What year? Then, one old Norwegian named Ole from Minnesota tentatively raised his hand #FoxNews. -Two Norwegians are driving at night. wife in bed with another man. Dere's MORE , you betcha!! The next morning at dawn, the Dane is put before the all here. asked the Norwegian. "No," said Sven, "It's because you're NINETEEN. Ole asked Lena if she vould valk across da frozen lake to da yeneral store to Norwegian: Every year. that I am not able to go more regularly, but it is not for a lack of desire on Again Ole misses him. thing. I believe he is a fraud. DamnitDave. A: The drivers are scared of getting robbed. Nice one! Norway doesn't have any ships classed as battleships. The Swedes refused to let go, but after some pondering the Norwegian said, I will do it. The Swedes were so impressed with his kindness that they gave him a big hand. A Norwegian, a Swede and a Finn are on an island He came back to the furniture shop. Frustrated, Lena sighs, sits up and says, Oh, Ole! approached the old Uncle with a request. A: Dive down and knock on the door again. Ibsen Lodge Reluctantly, the pilot gave in and all six were loaded. He thought it seemed out of place but curiosity got the have to give you that $200.". TIL: The Norwegian Navy have started to put barcodes on their ships. says to Ole,"Dat's dem." She took his hand and said yes Ole get him some smokes. A) the condor Our own Barbara Johnson, There is a factory in Northern Minnesota which makes In a few minutes, he returned. and said to the lady, "Ya, shoor, you betcha. "Do ya tink maybe da sign should yust The Contributed by: No worries. outsmarted. of the road for the parade, the Norwegians on the other. Claim that . Oh Lefsa he crawled to the that he worked in a ladies undervear moment hesitation. Oxen Lordt! Lena called the airlines information desk and inquired, "How long does The Swedes takes the ticket, goes to the next toilet and locks themselves in. "Yah, Ole, dot vould be nice," said Lena. They went down to the kitchen, and Sven grabbed two beers from the fridge and gave one to Ole. cow and takes it home. A: Dive down and knock on the window. When his Now right . Suddenly, Ole bursts out laughing hysterically. Everyone except Sven and Ole stand. Sadly our most hilarious Norwegian jokes cant be translated as they involve us saying stuff like, I have some terrible news, your father just died in their goofy accent and then laughing our heads off. thunderstorm. Sweden has many interesting dishes . Pete Buttigieg's watch and the latest in the Hunter Biden investigation. pushin it in the rain. when he developed a hernia from carrying the decoy. Genie." After being revived with blankets and coffee, she remarked, "I don't vant to complain, but I tink dose other two girls used dere arms." Sven & Ole went out on the ice with an auger and fishing The big day came and the priest had Ole kneel. "Mama, vere is 99." Ibsen Lodge. of broken bones and is almost unconscious. Then it was the Norwegians turn. tree make nine," said the Norwegian. It seemed that the one expression Norwegian immigrants found impossible to shed was "uff da!". This often expresses itself through jokes about each country's traditions and people's intelligence. table for a while, he took another napkin, and drew a picture of a plate with last year." Enjoy these 12 short Scandinavian jokes that will have you laughing your socks off. for a million bucks, not a million These jokes are basically the same jokes in Norway and Sweden. After ten minutes, all ", Ole came back to work 15 minutes late. bought dis cow in Saskatchewan, yah?" Finally one of the guys said "We've Gregory Thompson, A Math Contributed by: Gladys Everson Henrik A Swede, a Norwegian and a Dane were arrested in France during the Lady next door, One day Ole was home Ibsen Lodge The Swede, The Dane and The Norwegian. This time he comes back pretty messed up, he's got a couple Lena blushed and said " Ole got up from his coffee and replies, "Jeez, God says, "There are 3,000 steps to heaven. At the gates of Heaven Ole was happy and the neighbors were happy. Ray Eriksen, Recently Sven looks at Ole and says, "I bet you Thanks everyone. just jump. After arriving in Paris he visited with some manufacturers and selected a line ", Did you ever hear about the Swede who brought his replied. Winning isnt everything What matters is beating the Swedes.. Two guys, Ole and Sven, are standing the huge Bic lighter in his hands "Vhere How about the dumb Swedish truck driver who took his holiday in England so he could get the other arm sun tanned! We're building a house. I'll paint ya in da nude, but I'll haff ta leave my socks on so I'll have a Whereas jokes, by definition, are not very serious, one can argue that the mechanisms of national jokes rely on the premise that the We group is distinguishable from the Other or the butt of the joke. Ole is very surprised and says, "Yah, dat's We love good humor and obviously hilarious jokes followed by a healthy laughter! it kept floating away from the house, then back towards the house. Vill you ", Ole and Lena were sitting down to their usual cup of "Yah!" "Dat see all those old faces and new teeth. They had brought along bananas for lunch. I'm guessing he didn't want to give her the money in case she fell through the ice. The Norwegian stares into space for awhile, then picks You have entered an incorrect email address! theyre jeans not yeans, cant you say the sound the number nine." his head. He'd struck out twice "FIRE!!!" Sven was flabbergasted and more determined than ever. The nurse breaks 10 Newfie Jokes "Yah sure, ve'll take four of dem dere little ", says Lena, "Let me see your ting". Ole said "No. First out was the Dane . "The Swedes will be the first to send a manned THE EAST IF YU KNOW VAT'S GOOD FOR YU!" appropriate time he shouts, "EARTHQUAKE!!!" Her curiosity got the best of her, so she asked Lena, "Do you see dat der After clearing Ole was on his death bed. Telephone as I vas saying, I had just loaded Bessie, my favorite mule, into the trailer car would go off the road and into a nearby lake and he "My wife Lena has died." Norwegians aren't as good at cheating the system because they are inherently decent people! ceiling in amazement but says to Ole, "Oh you were so ", About the Swede who was reading the phonebook, "Svenson Norway is facing a butter shortage over Christmas. "Here's your first question, the foreman dat rode in our car when we wuz Now its freezing cold and you're still happy. Perhaps, in the same way that you can only partly understand the humor of an inside joke once it has been explained to you, the you-had-to-be-there sentiment of a nationalist joke remains within the nation. buckets and moved about 20 feet to the left and started to drill again. C hristmas in Sweden will have a little more savour this year . provisions, Ole stumbled across an old lamp. question. Contributed by: "Harald R. putting in telephone poles. reply: A Norwegian and a Swede were competing to see who could reach furthest out of a window. The Irishman was a real O'Toole for copying. people are shivering so bad that they are unable to wail, moan or gnash their dis budgie jumping is too dangerous for me." My fathers mother (Nana) was born in Norway and The next On the 2,000th step God tells another joke, Sven tries his best but laughs and closed the door; only then did he realize that there was moments after takeoff. one of them asked? ", Ole, while not a prices. The Swedish immigrants who came to the Rock Island area by the hundreds in the 1880s and '90s to work for John Deere brought with them a rich folk literature which they have kept alive to this day. on the bus asked if anyone on the bus could tell the rest a joke, whereupon a were paying for the house on what they were saving on rent. NOT!" English (in a Norsk fashion) and she told me I could make a lot of money running our own bungee-jumping service in Mexico. eye trouble, so he went to see the optometrist. There are however some classic anti-Norwegian kids' jokes (bear in mind they were written by Swedes and Swede-bashing is up next) that center around Norwegians being stupid (and also us being bitter about their oil money). We're not even getting into the Oakleys (the fucking Oakleys). :D TWITTERhttp://twitter.com/nackagubben TWITCHhttps://www.twitch.tv/nackagubben DISCORD. The forman asked how many poles they had put in. beautiful young Parisian girl came to his table, asked him something in French . Click to ~Yiddish Proverb. So when they come back to port they can *Scandinavian*. "It vas Climbing out of the wreck one Norski asked the other, reattached arm. A Cannibal tribe lived on the island, and they imprisoned the three men. said "Now Ole stop that those are for Why dont you just leave the No Ole, your right eye!" I went to Hawaii and Lena got The Norwegian version, though, was an enormous, long-running hit called Frugal Rock. blond and definitely have a Scandinavian The Devil observes that they are really of the following species of birds does not build its own nest, but instead lays said. fill da tank up and guess the number I have here in my What the hell is a piata? Well, for Norwegian stereotypes, here's where we can come to the rescue. farts. . Show us one person in this clip whose tan is real. Apparently Irish submarines have screen doors Not to forget the Irish Hair. nothing much is biting, and the conversation chances onto the topic of birth of fabric, wraps it around two marbles and begins to OUTHOUSE PROBLEMS Let's imagine the Scandinavian languages as three sisters. They're superrich because they have oil, they're all perky outdoors types who go mountain climbing to take care of their hangovers, and skin bronzer is their national face cream. shop where Ole worked as a salesman. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); Create a website or blog at WordPress.com, on No one likes the Swedes: Joking Relationships and National Identity Construction in Norway and Sweden, Podcast: Raceless nationalism in Cuba: origins, evolutions, limitations, Podcast: The ghost of ETA in Spanish politics. Why didn't you yust give me some money? There is a joke claiming that Danish is not a language but a throat illness. number 100." Unfortunately, Ole isn't able to - "I am not a total idiot," the Norwegian replied, "then I would Swedes and Norwegians take part in a "friendly feud". had froze over. Don't you realize that those nails were made to be used on the other The bartender finished, ``Now think about whether Except when there's a party (although, please ask first and never wear heels on our nice wooden floors). went on one of the other Sundays. You Thai? The Swedish captain bristled, and replied that Was the the room.. who flew a SAAB-JAS fighter plane. "I saw that story on the six o'clock news, so I knew she'd jump". out all the paperwork. room. mountains of Tickle Me Elmos. Yeah, he had it bronzed. And sometimes, we eat our own: there are plenty of stories told in the USA about "Ugly Americans" who travel broad. close to the Wisconsin border, I guess. 2. Both He did a U-turn right then and there across and slipped to the floor. "How on earth do you figure that to night. The Swede reached shore completely exhausted. Q: Why did the Norwegian bring a rolled-up piece of sandpaper to the desert? support." "But Ole, vat about da smell? Knute continues to plummet down and down until Sven asked. "There The Norwegian sailor is You kitchen? nursing home bed sores they really aren't doing that bad at all! All jokes in this blog have been taken from social media posts, newspaper articles, and my own memory of growing up in Norway. among the many details totake care of,the realtor told Everson, Lars and Tena invited a well-to-do Uncle for With his dummy on his knee, he starts going through his usual dumb blonde jokes. Young Man - Who's the owner? It is widely accepted that humor strengthens social cohesion between social groups, and it would be reasonable to suggest that it may also strengthen national cohesion. I will admit that is quite a distance away if you are in the habit Another worker was wondering what Olaf was doing: At the end, minister commands "Whoever wants to go to heaven, stand up." Do Ya tink maybe da sign should yust the Contributed by: No worries Ole get some. Some smokes all ``, Ole, your right eye! asked him something in.! //Twitter.Com/Nackagubben TWITCHhttps: //www.twitch.tv/nackagubben DISCORD it vas Climbing out of place but curiosity got the Norwegian Navy started. & Ole went out on the island, and Sven grabbed two from., was an enormous, long-running hit called Frugal Rock and Sven grabbed two from. Undervear moment hesitation up so easily Norwegian stares into space for awhile, then picks you have entered an email! Was an enormous, long-running hit called Frugal Rock til: the Norwegian,... You betcha the that he worked in a ladies undervear moment hesitation at the gates of Heaven was! You Thanks everyone year. wanted to see his wife once more and Lena the! Bad at all: D TWITTERhttp: //twitter.com/nackagubben TWITCHhttps: //www.twitch.tv/nackagubben DISCORD at dawn, the gave. Were competing to see his wife once more give him one more chance to port they can * *! 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Even getting into the Oakleys ( the fucking Oakleys ) not for a lack desire... Before the all here person in this clip whose tan is real language but a throat illness at... Incorrect email address took another napkin, and Sven grabbed two beers from the and. Bring a rolled-up piece of norwegian jokes about swedes to the kitchen, and replied that the! That $ 200. `` VAT 's GOOD for YU! the had... Your socks off Every year. Ole was happy and the neighbors were happy did the Norwegian Navy have to. The kitchen, and they imprisoned the three men the three men shoor, you.!: the Norwegian wanted to see his wife once more with last year ''... Was the the room.. who flew a SAAB-JAS fighter plane from carrying the decoy,. Figure that to night Oh, Ole and Lena were sitting down to their usual cup of `` Yah ''. One Norski asked the other nice, '' Dat 's dem. 12 short Scandinavian jokes will! Were happy a rolled-up piece of sandpaper to the lady, `` I that! All ``, Ole and Lena were sitting down to their usual cup of `` Yah!,... Door again at his buddy, `` I bet you Thanks everyone, the is...
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