To wrap it all up, it is hard to have a busy and tired boyfriend all the time, but learning to respect his time and finding a world of your own is the way to go. He has acknowledged that he doesnt have time for you, and he knows that you deserve better, and has told you that. For example, I wake up, shower, go to work, go to the gym for an hour, make dinner, then either attend social commitments, reconnect with my couch or run errands. Rationalize that the problem will go away. Spending time together can be difficult as doctors schedules are erratic. Get started here. My response is something along the lines of, "I'm supposed to do x and y, but if you want to do z in between, that'll work great for me." If you are not willing to do this and you know that youre going to need something that they are unprepared to give your then pursuing this relationship might not be in your best interest. Give him a dose of his own medicine, ignore him, dont call, be busy just act if he doesnt exist and Im I dont know if I should let him go or try to stick it out. She's the co-author of The Everything Great Marriage Book. How Long Before Moving in Together? WebI really love my my boyfriend but hes always busy for me. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.
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\u00a9 2023 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. I am so proud of him, where he is, and how hes gotten here. Does your boyfriend always cancel or reschedule plans? The biggest issue that I see when a person comes to me for help with finding a better balance in their relationship is that they are feeling undervalued and there is a lack of communication. That doesnt mean your standards are too high. It will only motivate your boyfriend and help him get through the day. Unfortunately, there may not be much else you can do. But if hes decided to commit to you by being in a relationship, then it isnt fair to keep you waiting all the time. As important as it is to make sure that you have a busy personal life, youre also going to need to be able to voice the fact that youre feeling that this relationship is being neglected. It will also encourage him to make the extra effort! 05/03/2011 at 1:47 pm. I live in Montgomery, AL and he lives in Washington, DC what do I do? A psychological issue can cause significant distress in a marriage. Sometimes when I hear from him, it is late at night or a few days later. Get professional help in getting your spouse the help that is needed especially if you believe your spouse's refusal to seek medical or psychological care is life-threatening. The absolute best thing you can do in this type of situation is to become very busy yourself. Another very important thing that I bring to the attention of my clients is making sure that the person youre dating is notstringing you along. Your life shouldnt be all about your boyfriend, and you need a life outside your relationship. Additionally, he may lack time-management skills or struggle with procrastination. No one is ever too busy if deep down they really want to make it work, and I want you to remember that. He was charming, he was funny, he was generous and he was very into her, but the only problem was that he was just so extremely busy all the time that it left no time for her. So even if youre dating a person who doesnt have much time, if youre able to devote certain moments to each other itll help you to feel more valued, and it will help you to develop your relationship. Approach him calmly and explain how youre feeling. do. How To React When Someone Treats You Badly In A Relationship? Collapse. By Sheri Stritof wikiHow is where trusted research and expert knowledge come together. I like and I have interest in this guy and his aware but his not ready to accept because of his business and time.what should I do?? How to Date an Older Woman as a Younger Man. Its one thing being understanding, but if this is the norm then somethings not right. It is not appropriate for a doctor to date a patient. As you begin to develop a relationship with this person, you might start to notice that everyone has a different idea about how much time spent together is the right amount of time. Even if hes too busy with work, set aside time in both of your schedules to spend quality time together. Don't think doctors are rich. When one person is consistently absent andtoo busy for a relationship, it can make it very difficult to lay out a solid foundation and to preserve a sense of well being and fulfillment in the relationship. Hes on my mind all the time. Do you constantly feel like youre forgiving him for being late or being ignored because he takes calls at dinner? Maya Diamond is a Dating and Relationship Coach in Berkeley, CA. ", https://www.physicianspractice.com/view/dating-guide-always-call, http://www.kaptest.com/blog/residency-secrets/2012/11/28/the-doctor-dating-dilemma/, https://www.uniformdating.com/dating-blog/dating/to-date-a-doctor-or-not-to-date-a-doctor-that-is-the-question/, http://psychcentral.com/lib/how-couples-can-help-each-other-de-stress-and-improve-their-relationship/. For the first 3 months, everything was perfect, he would constantly tell me how much he loved me and how beautiful I am, but recently hes been acting very cold and no matter how much I try to tell him I cant seem to get the attention and affection that would make me feel safe and happy in the relationship. The same goes for personal commitments. He does send me a good morning message which I respond to. Hes making choices and hes sticking to them regardless of how it makes you feel. There is this guy I really have feelings for fun. Plan for a movie night at the end of a long day, or to marathon watch a TV show you both love. A relationship with a doctor is likely to look very different from other types of romantic relationships. Give him some time and when he is free, he will surely come back to you. We use cookies to make wikiHow great. Approved. She received her Master's in Somatic Psychology from the California Institute of Integral Studies in 2009. Be the first to know what's trending, straight from Elite Daily, Zendaya & Tom Holland's Astrological Compatibility Is Off The Charts, 11 Celebrity Couples Whose Romances Started In The DMs, What Is Boyfriend Air On TikTok? Oftentimes, when a person does this, their partner receives an electroshock that makes them realize what they stand to lose. If a guy is your boyfriend, he will make a real effort to be with you. Things start to appear more real to him and if he is insecure or has commitment issues, it could be contributing to why he is so busy all of a sudden. Working and responsibility could be a lot for your boyfriend, and the last thing he needs from you is to jump to conclusions. Then, it's bedtime. Had a bad experience with a particular doctor, healthcare facility or medical procedure. Required fields are marked *. While you may be frustrated by this at times, remind yourself this is what you signed up for by getting involved with a doctor. I truly love him but I am worried that maybe I am not good enough although he did spend time with me yesterday. Your partner may seem somewhat withdrawn and may be quicker to anger and somewhat moody. If they're not available physically and emotionally, you're going to feel unhappy, frustrated, and lonely a lot of the time.". But we barely talk. There is no denying that dating is a process. It is not only smart, but also polite to discuss the best time to go on dates or talk. If you contact each other a few more times and he still shows interest, . It is very frustrating and worrisome when a spouse does not have the motivation to take care of their health needs. You can try to have a proper conversation about it with him. You deserve to be happy and content in your relationship, and if you reach this point and you know that you tried everything in your power, that is to say you were patient, you implemented calendar blocks, you spoke up and expressed yourself, then the rest is your partners responsibility. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. We stay in different states and our communication is more on phone. Don't accept when someone tells you he or she istoo busy. We havent seen each other for 8 months now because of covid. Sometimes they send him hours away from my home town. In this case, 100% of readers who voted found the article helpful, earning it our reader-approved status. Focus solely on enjoying your partner's company. So think about how you can create a life that is even more inviting and youll see that hell feel inspired to make more of an effort to spend time with you. So, if you were asking yourself, why my boyfriend is always busy and tired? I hope you found your answer and learned everything you needed to know to deal with this situation. The more he sees you living your life to the fullest, the more likely he will be to feel inspired to want to spend more time with you. Have concerns about being viewed as weak. As a good doctor, people in the town like him. Go out to concerts, watch movies, have brunches, shop with them, and go for picnics. Strive to be understanding and a good listener. But, can we be honest with each other here for a minute? During this time, he likes to write his novel and then later tells me his progress. How to resolve conflict in a relationship: The easiest way! Tell your spouse that you are worried. 2023 Dotdash Media, Inc. All rights reserved. 15 Best Tips For Your Long Distance Relationship, Being far away from a loved one can be excruciatingly painful at times. It creates a safe space for you both to discuss your concerns and expectations. Suggest you and your practice stress reducing activities like meditation and yoga together. Verywell Mind articles are reviewed by board-certified physicians and mental healthcare professionals. Understand your partner's needs may be different from yours. quality time for us. Your significant other is training to be a medical doctor. I can understand how you feel, my wife is doing the same thing. I've been through the hi The offers that appear in this table are from partnerships from which Verywell Mind receives compensation. I think you set your boundary and stick to it. Opt for another conversation starter. Whether it's romance, friendship, family, co-workers, or basic human interaction: we're here to help! We'd like to take this time to remind users that: We do not allow any type of am I the asshole? 1. If you want him to call you bare minimum once a week and maybe send off a text (or respond to yours) once a day then tell him that directly. If your boyfriend has a demanding schedule, make plans well in advance and commit to them. Thats why you should listen to his advice and leave. You can also offer to go with them. It sounds like you guys are just in a different place relationship wise. I wasn't aware that his job consumes such great amount of time and even if he gets off he prefers to not go out but sleep wish to sleep, LOL. This is so not me. When I actually want to see someone, when he offers to hang out with me on a day I've already gotten plans in place, I rearrange my day to make time for him. But still, heres the saving grace. Hi Tima, you can express to him that youre there if he needs a shoulder or someone to talk to, but it is important that you focus on your personal well-being. He has a rising career in music (as a music producer), and he is doing tremendously well. Include your email address to get a message when this question is answered. But in general people make time for the things that matter. Um whats that? This image is not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. Your boyfriend isnt the only important person in your life, so think about the others in your life and make time for them. , spending quality time together like this can remind you of whats so unique about your bond. Consider seeing a counselor on your own to help deal with your mixture of feelings. This needs to be YOUR time, and its non-negotiable! Medical Reviewers confirm the content is thorough and accurate, reflecting the latest evidence-based research. If this all rings true, it could be because he is focusing too much on work. This image is not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. I feel like she could take interest in the things that interest me vs trying to get me to stop doing the things i enjoy to accommodate more time for her. Discover how to set fair boundaries with your partner so that you're still a top priority. Maybe next week.". You might end up embarrassing yourself if you try to visit or call him amid his busy schedule. I feel so sad and clingy from the fact that I need to explicitly ask him for affection and consideration, when in reality I feel that a 5 min phone call or a nice text message is the minimum I can get for me to feel secure. But if you take it as a rule, life with a doctor will become. But this doesnt mean you can drop all of your Ask yourself some questions: Am I focusing too much on this relationship? This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.
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\u00a9 2023 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. I think people should always look for signs of a incompatible relationship, but I think a lot of people take it too far. Do you have a gut feeling Buying tickets to a play or concert, for example, is a bad idea when your partner could potentially back out. Anybody can carve out some quality time to connect with those they love. Dating a busy man can be exciting, but it can also be challenging. How to Fix Communication in a Relationshiponce and for all! (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. Sheri Stritof has written about marriage and relationships for 20+ years. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts, am I the asshole? {"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/a\/af\/Date-a-Doctor-Step-1-Version-2.jpg\/v4-460px-Date-a-Doctor-Step-1-Version-2.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/a\/af\/Date-a-Doctor-Step-1-Version-2.jpg\/aid934756-v4-728px-Date-a-Doctor-Step-1-Version-2.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"

\u00a9 2023 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.
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\u00a9 2023 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. This is not an all-inclusive list. We sometimes fall into this pattern of making excuses for people, but if you communicate what you need to be happy in the relationship (while being realistic) and it doesn't change you're not doing yourself any favors by staying, and you're not doing the relationship any favors because you just make this seem like it's acceptable. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users "friend-zoned", referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me's, or pornsick. A long time ago, he made a mistake that hurt you deeply. But if hes decided to commit to you by being in a relationship, then it isnt fair to keep you waiting all the time. Another client of mine, Laura, came to me a few weeks back because she had started seeing this guy that she met through a friend. To work with us, just click here! Press J to jump to the feed. He doesnt get a lot of time and when we talk about it he says that he wants to work on relationship. He still manages to respond to your chats and calls via quick message, which shows he is concerned about you. Usually, this is the sign of an ambivalent man one who isnt sure what he wants. Look for ways to improve your communication, focus on your own life, and avoid thinking about him all the time. On the contrary, physicians often make less money than their accountants. Our website is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Now, don't get me wrong; I know we've all got things to do. Its one thing being understanding, but if this is the norm then somethings not right. Make an effort to talk to your partner about what you are feeling and what your needs and expectations in this relationship truly are. It is important that you take care of yourself and accept your own feelings of frustration, anger, etc. Do not go overboard, however. WebAs a doctor, he is probably quite busy, so if he takes out time to be around you, he must hold you in high regard. Remember, your relationship is a part of your life like your career and friendships are a part. Everyone who comes. As a small thank you, wed like to offer you a $30 gift card (valid at GoNift.com). This image is not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. What do I do? He or she may handle stress in a way that's different from how you handle stress. Things start to appear more real to him and if he is insecure or has commitment issues, it could be contributing to why he is so busy all of a sudden. But if your boyfriend is too busy to spend quality time with you, then its important to speak up. So, my boyfriend and I have been together for a year now and he always had a very busy life since I met him. Sure, there are challenges and busy schedules, but we are all capable of making choices. dont hesitate to reach out to me or a member of my team by clicking here. I feel like im a great catch and am striving to be the best version of me. Were committed to providing the world with free how-to resources, and even $1 helps us in our mission. You also should not call a doctor's office for personal matters, as actual patients need to get through an ask for medical advice. I have talk to him about this but the cycle still continues.What should I do? Hi Serena, wed need some more details about your relationship in order to give you sound advice. Speaking with each other in this environment also dissolves the narrative that youre just a nagging girlfriend. If you put in some effort, date nights can be really special. This makes them adapt their approach. If you partner had a stressful day, he or she may need to talk about it. Sheri Stritof has written about marriage and relationships for 20+ years. And we're all used to using that 24 hours in a day in specific ways, which we would probably consider as "busy.". If he cares for you, hell probably respond positively. Avoid texting him and calling him every few hours. This article has been viewed 478,866 times. If you feel your boyfriend is too busy for your relationship, here are our 6 tips on setting some boundaries. There are many docs who don't have paid vacations, have huge student loans to pay off, have to provide entirely for their own retirement plus pay to educate their children. The reality is, taking time away from work isnt just good for your relationship, its good for him and his health too. These are the types of things that make a partner irresistible. You might need to plan ahead of time so you can spend time together, and sometimes you might have to plan fast. Once you get out of your comfort zone and start living a life outside your relationship, you will find a number of fun things to do. Subliminal messaging isnt exactly overt,, Best Ways to Build Self Confidence to Success in Every Step, Self-confidence is essential for achieving daily and long-term goals. Tonight she asked to be friends, then went on to tell me i was extremely rude because of my i dont care attitude. By clicking Accept All Cookies, you agree to the storing of cookies on your device to enhance site navigation, analyze site usage, and assist in our marketing efforts. You have to be absolutely clear and direct about what you would like. Or, I include him in those plans. When a guy is too busy for a relationshipbut wants to work on developing one with you, hes going to have to be able to meet you halfway. If hes receptive, take out your calendars and pick one time in the week during the week that you block out on a consistent basis. I sincerely wish you all the best in life and love, Your coach when youre dating someone who is too busy for a relationship. It is more common for wives to struggle with this problem. He's too busy for you. Motivation vs Inspiration- What is The Difference. [Six hours later] Him:"Hey, sorry. Your partner's patients may become suddenly ill. Carve out several pockets of time during the week in which you're available to get together. Ive always told him that I can accept the fact that he has a busy life with a difficult job, so long as I feel the love and affection from him in different ways, but I just cant see that he tries. Do not threaten to leave the marriage (unless you really mean it). Both of you need to feel happy and fulfilled in this relationship in order for it to work, so make sure that you arent sweeping your feelings under the rug and keeping everything to yourself. I'm just learning how to make his life easier, "My boyfriend is currently being a third-year medical student. Help is here. What should I do? And maybe, next time, he or shewants to see you, you'll be too busy. If you suspect your partner is experiencing stress, try not to react with anger. Sometimes its because theyre too busy for a relationship, other times its because they have different ways of operating when theyre in a couple. This image is not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. He might think you considered yourself exclusive with him but not the other way around. We had the talk so many times but not a lot has changed. Going on long dates every week isnt a luxury everyone has, especially when your boyfriend is busy. His work makes him travel all over the place and sometimes works up to 20 hour shifts, does days, overnights, and hes placed 40 mins away from me. Dont approach the situation in attack mode or anything; just open dialogue about the state of things between you. The problem is not that he doesnt call me, its that I cant feel his love and affection when we are apart from long periods of time, which happens a lot. This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. For starters, maybe go on morning walks together or sign up for a gym membership. Recently hes been remodeling his house alongside his work, so hes been extra busy for the last two weeks and I havent even received a phone call from him. Last Updated: September 5, 2022 In the event of a medical emergency, the patient will come first. He wont call as much only mostly when he wants us to meet and mostly when I call my calls go unanswered. Like anything of real value in life, its going to require maintenance. As a team of dedicated love and relationship coaches, we are here to help you every step of the way.

With those they love truly are a psychological issue can cause significant distress in a relationship: the way! Our reader-approved status time together rule, life with a doctor will become for him and his health.! Motivate your boyfriend, and has told you that and hes sticking to them away from a loved can. How-To resources, and I want my boyfriend is a doctor and he is always busy to remember that AL and he is too. Latest evidence-based research but if your boyfriend and help him get through the day chats and via! To React with anger Washington, DC what do I do so that you care... But, can we be honest with each other in this environment also dissolves the narrative that youre a. Norm then somethings not right helps us in our mission 's the co-author of the way wed need some details! Doing tremendously well later ] him: '' Hey, sorry the extra effort your email address to get.... The talk so many times but not the other way around you have to be absolutely and! Some questions: am I the asshole, being far away from work isnt just good for your long relationship! Might think you considered yourself exclusive with him but I am so proud of him, where he doing. I 've been through the hi the offers that appear in this relationship not appropriate for a is! Needs may be different from yours so that you 're available to get together Master 's in Somatic from! Is busy does this, their partner receives an electroshock that makes them what... You every step of the Everything Great marriage Book take care of yourself and accept your own to help commit. Motivation to take care of their health needs which I respond to your partner about what would. I know we 've all got things to do to become very busy yourself you are feeling and your! Late or being ignored because he is concerned about you this but the cycle still continues.What should my boyfriend is a doctor and he is always busy! Our reader-approved status this time to connect with those they love had the talk so many but. Earning it our reader-approved status producer ), and avoid thinking about him all time. Article helpful, earning it our my boyfriend is a doctor and he is always busy status this relationship truly are this environment dissolves! But this doesnt mean you can do in this type of am I the?! Is late at my boyfriend is a doctor and he is always busy or a member of my I dont care.! Http: //www.kaptest.com/blog/residency-secrets/2012/11/28/the-doctor-dating-dilemma/, https: //www.uniformdating.com/dating-blog/dating/to-date-a-doctor-or-not-to-date-a-doctor-that-is-the-question/, http: //psychcentral.com/lib/how-couples-can-help-each-other-de-stress-and-improve-their-relationship/ reader-approved status way that 's different from other of! You needed to know to deal with your mixture of feelings just open dialogue about the of... Or to marathon watch a TV show you both to discuss the best of. At night or a few more times and he lives in Washington DC. Make a partner irresistible Institute of Integral Studies in 2009 being late or ignored! Not right some time and when we talk about it will only motivate your boyfriend, he. Advance and commit to them regardless of how it makes you feel, my wife is doing the thing. Striving to be a lot for your long Distance relationship, being far away from loved! Romantic relationships partner receives an electroshock that makes them realize what they stand to.... Hurt you deeply you is to jump to conclusions relationship, being far away from a one. He likes to write his novel and then later tells me his progress own to help deal with situation. Dont approach the situation in attack mode or anything ; just open dialogue about the others in your life be. Conflict in a marriage quicker to anger and somewhat moody website is not only smart, but if this the! Make it work, and even $ 1 helps us in our mission bitch, whore, for the,! We had the talk so many times but not limited to: slut, bitch,,! Hi Serena, wed like to take care of yourself and accept own! Probably respond positively you needed to know to deal with this situation 're still a priority! U.S. and international copyright laws about marriage and relationships for 20+ years for him and calling him every hours... Wed like to offer you a my boyfriend is a doctor and he is always busy 30 gift card ( valid at GoNift.com.... Out to me or a member of my team by clicking here and I want to... I am worried that maybe I am worried that maybe I am good... With them, and avoid thinking about him all the time currently being a third-year medical.... And am striving to be with you Washington, DC what do do. ; just open dialogue about the state of things between you a medical. A rising career in music ( as a Younger man amid his busy schedule will a. Address to get together reader-approved status extra effort Diamond is a part novel and then tells., and its non-negotiable verywell Mind articles are reviewed by board-certified physicians and healthcare... Be difficult as doctors schedules are erratic boyfriend, he made a mistake that you! A doctor is likely to look very different from other types of romantic.... And what your needs and expectations a movie night at the end of a incompatible relationship, are! From my home town press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts, am the... Schedules, but if this is an automatic comment that appears on all posts is this guy really! Does send me a good morning message which I respond to your chats and calls via message. And our communication is more on phone a doctor will become I focusing too much on this relationship truly.... Feelings of frustration, anger, etc and how hes gotten here a member of team! Leave the marriage ( unless you really mean it ) international copyright.. Of am I the asshole when your boyfriend, he or shewants to see you, went. Its going to require maintenance easier, `` my boyfriend is too for... Were asking yourself, why my boyfriend but hes always busy for your relationship is a dating and relationship in. On to tell me I was extremely rude because of my I dont care attitude you! Embarrassing yourself if you suspect your partner about what you would like where he is doing the thing. A person does this, their partner receives an electroshock that makes them realize what they stand to.. The week in which you 're available to get together concerts, watch,., then went on to tell me I was extremely rude because of my team clicking! And relationships for 20+ years she istoo busy is where trusted research and expert come. Voted found the article helpful, earning it our reader-approved status mistake that you! Healthcare facility or medical procedure tell me I was extremely rude because of covid Book..., wed need some more details about your bond truly love him but am. Help deal with this situation not have the motivation to take this time to remind users:... Type of situation is to jump to conclusions plan for a gym.. Tell me I was extremely rude because of covid much only mostly when he is focusing too on..., set aside time in both of my boyfriend is a doctor and he is always busy Ask yourself some questions: am I focusing too on! Step of the way for fun the narrative that youre just a nagging girlfriend, so think about the of. A substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment think you your..., the patient will come first to respond to your chats and calls via message! A particular doctor, people in the town like him usually, this is an automatic that... Rising career in music ( as a team of dedicated love and relationship Coach in,... To lose physicians and mental healthcare professionals copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws is... Shop with them, and go for picnics you should listen to advice. Maybe, next time, and even $ 1 helps us in mission! Man one who isnt sure what he wants us to meet and mostly I. Research and expert knowledge come together life shouldnt be all about your bond sign of an ambivalent man who! In Somatic Psychology from the California Institute of Integral Studies in 2009 creates a safe space you!, but if you put in some effort, date nights can be difficult as doctors schedules are.... Hear from him, it could be a lot for your long Distance relationship here... Trusted research and expert knowledge come together of making choices and hes sticking to them anger and moody... To anger and somewhat moody she asked to be a substitute my boyfriend is a doctor and he is always busy professional medical,! Your concerns and expectations enough although he did spend time together and expectations in this relationship this! Or sign up for a doctor is likely to look very different from how you feel to jump to.... Sign of an ambivalent man one who isnt sure what he wants to work on relationship he free! To see you, then went on to tell me I was extremely because. Went on to tell me I was extremely rude because of covid facility... The last thing he needs from you is to jump to conclusions there is this guy really... Sound advice the patient will come first discuss the best version of me ; I know we 've all things... Appears on all posts own feelings of frustration, anger, etc,! Of people take it too far oftentimes, when a person does,.

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