Benjamin Franklin, Advice to a Young Man on the Choice of a Mistress (1745) June 25, 1745 My Dear Friend, I know of no Medicine fit to diminish the violent natural Inclinations you mention; and if I did, I think I should not communicate it to you. A person, whether they are male or female, can be a whole and evolved person without being married! Inoculation had proven successful after the 1721 outbreak in Boston when 5,889 Bostonians had smallpox, and 844 died of it. Benjamin Franklin Schenck found in Indiana, Select Marriages Index, 1748-1993 Benjamin Franklin Schenck found in 1860 United States Federal Census Benjamin Franklin Schenck found in 1870 United States Federal Census Benjamin Franklin Schenck found in 1850 United States Federal Census Potential photos and documents Benjamin Franklin Schenck Powered by WordPress. What followed was nearly 40 years of what Franklin referred to as perpetual blame., Itsurfaced in various forms. Happiness Marriage Anniversary Man. Franklin was certainly grateful to be married, but treated his wife more like a roommate than a helpmate in life. She is best remembered as the grandmother of Benjamin Franklin. How did a man who understood better than most the relative safety and efficacy of inoculation choose wrong? And yet she remained legally married to him; a woman could self-divorce, as Deborah had done in returning to her mothers home, but she could not remarry with church sanction. Invents the open, or "Franklin," stove. Benjamin Franklin, also called Ben Franklin, pseudonym Richard Saunders, (born January 17 [January 6, Old Style], 1706, Boston, Massachusetts [U.S.]died April 17, 1790, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, U.S.), American printer and publisher, author, inventor and scientist, and diplomat. After expressing his regret over having failed to inoculate Franky, he added: This I mention for the Sake of Parents, who omit that Operation on the Supposition that they should never forgive themselves if a Child died under it; my Example showing that the Regret may be the same either way, and that therefore the safer should be chosen., Franklin took the blame for not inoculating Franky, just as he took the blame for Deborahs disastrous first marriage. But still I advise you to marry directly; being sincerely Your affectionate Friend. But one of the most eloquentand least expectedcommentators on the subject is Benjamin Franklin. In 1730, when Boston had another outbreak, he used his own newspaper to promote inoculation in Philadelphia because he suspected the disease would spread south. Franklin was not the gushy, romantic type, but, prior to his marriage, he had an affair with the wife of a friend and ended up getting her pregnant. Recall Benjamin Franklin said, "Good wives usually make good husbands" and "The likeliest Way, either to obtain a good Husband, or to keep one so, is to be Good yourself". Leo Lemay pointed out, better off financially and socially than any of his siblings and almost all of Philadelphias artisans. That fall, the Pennsylvania Assembly appointed him its clerk, which put him on the inside of the colonys politics for the first time. LOL! Even with those deathswhich doctors attributed to smallpox contracted before inoculationthe inoculation death rate was negligible compared with the fatality rate from naturally acquired smallpox. Occasionally, however, they developed full-blown smallpox or other complications and died. (Franklin immortalized his wifes fiery personality in various fictional counterparts, including Bridget Saunders, wife of Poor Richard. 7. As for the letter, it seems to me he had a lot of experience to be able to go on with so much knowledge. They did consummate their marriage and have a child. But a few weeks later, the stranger became a boarder in the Read home. In the Autobiography he wrote that he should have beenashamd at seeing Miss Read, had not her Friendspersuaded her to marry another. If he wasnt ashamed, what was he? The Way to Wealth. William Franklin. Marrying a woman like Deborah Read meant quite a dowry for any likely suitor. Supporters claimed that inoculation was a blessing from God, opponents that it was a cursereckless, impious and tantamount to attempted murder. Benjamin Franklin His Autobiography 1706-1757 Events of his Life [Ending, as it does, with the year 1757, the autobiography leaves important facts un-recorded. [Benjamin Rush], in the copy belonging to the Library Company of Philadelphia.1 Paul L. Ford and Carl Van Doren accepted this attribution.2 However, the Library Companys copy belonged in fact to James Read of Reading, who acquired it in 1774; and the inscription, in Reads hand, actually reads By Mr. Franklin (the printer of it) I believe. Inasmuch as some People aredeterd from having that Operation performd on their Children, I do hereby sincerely declare, that he was not inoculated, but receivd the Distemper in the common Way of Infection, he wrote. LOL. (Franklin denied it, writing he would do nothing unworthy the Character of an honest Man, and one that loves his Family.) But as month after month passed with no word on Benjamins voyage home, it became clear that history was repeating itself. The two young men enjoyed the theatre and the other pleasures of the city, including women. There he made a shallow incision in the patients arm and deposited material from the vial. Franklin had been obliged to help print attacks against it in his brothers newspaper, but the procedures success won him over. * I'm Constantly Grateful For The Bad And Good Times. By the spring of 1724 he was enjoying the companionship of other young men with a taste for reading, and he was also being urged to set up in business for himself by the governor of Pennsylvania, Sir William Keith. When he met his grandson he, too, became infatuated with the boyso much so that he effectively claimed Benny for his own. Late in 1722 James Franklin got into trouble with the provincial authorities and was forbidden to print or publish the Courant. The Practice of Inoculation for the Small-Pox, begins to grow among us, he wrote the next month, adding that the first Patient of Note, a man named J. What was Benjamin Franklins early life like? Now you may argue with God but not me. Benjamin Franklin has written many quotes about Marriage. Franklin had endured sadnessthe death of his brother James, the man who had taught him printing and with whom he had only recently reconciledand a serious health scare, his second serious attack of pleurisy. From the outset, his father hinted otherwise. I wonder if he spelled them right for 1748 or if he was like my Mom and daughter! After six months, he and the young woman were in love. Sarah . Im glad you seemed to enjoy it as much as me! He had celebrated her faithfulness, compassion and competency as a housekeeper and hostess in a verse titled I Sing My Plain Country Joan. But he seems never to have written her an unabashed expression of romantic love. Because thro more Experience, they are more prudent and discreetin conducting an Intrigue to prevent Suspicion . Franklin was born in 1706 in Boston on a Sunday, which for the Puritans was reason enough for him to be morally weak; they believed that any child born on the Sabbath was conceived on the. I have this thing with words spelled or used incorrectly. Notes: 1974-1975 TV miniseries "The Lives of Benjamin Franklin" Events. Biographers and historians tend to shy away from his married life, perhaps because it defies idealization. He had never been much interested in children, but after the birth of Francis Folger Franklin, on October 20, 1732, he wrote that they were the most delightful Cares in the World. The boy, whom he and Deborah nicknamed Franky, gave rise to a more ebullient version of Franklin than he had allowed the world to see. 7) They who have nothing to trouble them will be troubled at nothing. "A happy marriage is a long conversation which always seems too short." -Andre Maurois "Marriage is the most natural state of man and the state in which you will find solid happiness." -Benjamin Franklin "Marriage is a huge investment: of time, of energy and of emotion. Many years later, Franklin admitted in a letter to his sister Jane that Frankys death devastated him. Mr. and Mrs. Franklin proved good business partners, but that was where amicable relations ended. That September 29, a contingent of Indian chiefs representing the Six Nations was heading for Philadelphia to renegotiate a treaty when government officials halted them a few miles short of their destination and advised them to go no farther. In classic Franklin fashion, he doesnt say. Franklin swooped in and took Deborah as his common-law wife on September 1, 1730 common-law so that, if Mr. Potter returned, neither one would be in violation of bigamy laws. Well your mama saw no misspelled words and I have not gone back to see, lol. Because the Sin is less. His attitude was reflected in his Rules and Maxims for Promoting Matrimonial Happiness, which he published a month after he and Deborah began living together. Francis and Sarah were born in his marriage to Deborah Read, while William was born out of wedlock. Your email address will not be published. When Benjamin Franklin Ware was born on 21 October 1924, in Kansas City, Jackson, Missouri, United States, his father, Ernest Franklin Ware, was 19 and his mother, Opal Tressie Neal, was 15. When Franky was finally baptized, his father just happened to be on an extended trip to New England. ( 337 ) $9.99. Failing to find work in New York City, Franklin at age 17 went on to Quaker-dominated Philadelphia, a much more open and religiously tolerant place than Puritan Boston. Created by Meks. Weel, a but one. Essential Writers, Artists, and Scientists, History of Scientists, Inventors, and Inventions Quiz, https://www.britannica.com/biography/Benjamin-Franklin, Social Studies for Kids - Biography of Benjamin Franklin, UShistory.org - The Electric Ben Franklin, Philanthropy Roundtable - Benjamin Franklin, Strange Science - Biography of Benjamin Franklin, Benjamin Franklin - Children's Encyclopedia (Ages 8-11), Benjamin Franklin - Student Encyclopedia (Ages 11 and up). More substantive evidence suggests the delay was due to Franklins oft-expressed antipathy to organized religion. Check out these top 15 facts that helped shape the history of America. 1731-1813. Josiah Franklin was born at Ecton, Northamptonshire, England, on December 23, 1657, the son of Thomas Franklin, a blacksmith and farmer, and his wife, Jane White. 9) He that is good at making excuses is seldom good at anything else. In London, Franklin discovered that the governor had lied to him. But we cant understand him fully without considering why he treated his wife so shabbily at the end of her life. 2. Along the way, Franklin came to see marriage as more of an act of business (via Smithsonian Magazine). Deborah appears to have embraced it without qualmand over time seems to have accepted it as a surrogate for her son. On September 1, 1730, he began a common-law marriage with Deborah Read, a carpenter's daughter. Whether the United States keep Daylight Saving Time as first whimsically suggested by Benjamin Franklin is widely debated. Well today I am going to share something a little different. Our work has been featured by the New York Times, TIME magazine, History Channel, Discovery Channel, Smithsonian, Mental Floss, NPR, and more. A few weeks later he was rooming at the Reads and employed as a printer. When eighteen-year-old Benjamin Franklin ran away to Philadelphia, he boarded with the Read family and began his printing apprenticeship. He resembles the odd Half of a Pair of Scissars. 3, January 1, 1745, through June 30, 1750, ed. Possibly he was relieved. But Benjamin Franklin did not ignore his son. SOURCES Deborah Read Benjamin Franklin Wikipedia: Benjamin Franklin Autobiography of Benjamin Franklin Whether he blamed Deborah, or blamed himself for listening to her, the hard feelings relating to the death of their beloved sonthe DELIGHT of all that knew him, according to the epitaph on his gravestoneappear to have ravaged their relationship. A few months later she pressed him: I hope you will not stay longer than this fall.. He considered becoming an itinerant teacher of swimming, but, when Thomas Denham, a Quaker merchant, offered him a clerkship in his store in Philadelphia with a prospect of fat commissions in the West Indian trade, he decided to return home. What do you think about Benjamin Franklins wisdom about marriage, sex and the older woman? They had a son, Francis, who died four years later from smallpox, and a . One of the foremost of theFounding Fathers,he helped draft theDeclaration of Independenceand was one of its signers, he represented the United States in France during theAmerican Revolution, and he was a delegate to theConstitutional Convention. I was always interested in books about finances, which caused me to discover Ben's "The Way to Wealth.". His father, Josiah, was a soap and candle maker from England who immigrated to Boston. the state in which you will find solid happiness. Benjamin Franklin's The Art of Virtue: His Formula for Successful Living. . 6) If your head is wax, don't walk in the sun. Reflections on Courtship and Marriage: in Two Letters to a Friend. Benjamin Franklin, perhaps the most recognized American polymath, also participated in the music domain during his lifetime and, in addition to the knowledge of several instruments and commentaries on music theory, left a legacy as an instrument maker and a composer. Thats a great point! History seems to show that he was a success in almost every endeavor he entered into almost. While Franklin was away from Deborah for over a decade, she sent him romantic letters but he only responded in terse replies. January 6, 1705 [1 - April 17, 1790) was one of the Founding Fathers of the United States. At only 16 years of age, Benjamin Franklin submitted columns to the newspaper about fashion, religion, women's rights, marriage, etc., under the faade of a widow named Mrs. The answer isnt simple. Benjamin Franklin Without continual growth and progress, such words as improvement, achievement, and success have no meaning. 2023 Smithsonian Magazine However, lets face it, there are a lot of older women who never evolve and remain stuck in their own fears. In June 1728, he launched a printing house with a partner, Hugh Meredith. Clearly Franklin believed he had had a choice and had chosen wrong. 171-3. Benjamin, too, had been jilted. But it seems likely, given his understanding that Deborah and her mother had quickly thrown him over, that he felt at least a tinge of resentment. Benjamin Franklin's father, Josiah Franklin, was a tallow chandler, soaper, and candlemaker. Did it render the boy too sick to be inoculated? Meanwhile, Pennsylvanias governor, William Keith, happened upon a letter Franklin had written and decided he was a young Man of promising Partsso promising that he offered to front the money for Franklin to set up his own printing house and promised to send plenty of work his way. LOL , Reading Benjamin Franklins letter in the year 2013, I have to agree with you, a lot of the things he wrote about marriage in the year 1745 appear to be funny to us today, because it just isnt true. They entered a common-law agreement which protected them from bigamy if her runaway husband returned. Franklin finally left London for home three months after Deborah died. Benjamin Franklin NICK NAMES Ben BIRTHDAY January 17, 1706 BORN ON DAY Sunday BIRTHPLACE Boston, Massachusetts Bay, British America. In an age that privileged the firstborn son, Franklin was, as he tartly noted in his Autobiography, the youngest Son of the youngest Son for five Generations back. He learned to read very early and had one year in grammar school and another under a private teacher, but his formal education ended at age 10. He also became more empatheticits hard to imagine he would have written an essay like On the Death of Infants, which was inspired by the death of an acquaintances child, had he not been enraptured by his own son and fearful lest a similar fate should befall him. They are these: 1. In 1736 Francis, who was 4 years old, died from small pox. Perform without fail what you resolve. Did I say a? Protect and keep contributing to your investment." -Karen Gordon He was the grandfather of journalist, printer, and publisher Benjamin Franklin Bache, Texas military figure Richard Bache, Jr., and diplomat William Temple Franklin. Franklin said as much many years later. But if you will not take this Counsel, and persist in thinking a Commerce with the Sex inevitable, then I repeat my former Advice, that in all your Amours you should prefer old Women to young ones. . Franklin apparently proposed marriage, but she declined in deference to her deceased husband. Moist Banana Bread Recipe The Best Banana Bread Ever, 14 Reasons That You Should Read This Post, Wearing A Mask In The Midst Of PTSD Ignorance, in all your Amours you should prefer old Women to young ones, Because as they have more Knowledge of the World, frequently superior, every Knack being by Practice. "Fart Proudly" is just another great example of that tradition, that universal reference point that we all share. Cookie Settings, Library of Congress Prints and Photographs Division, Left: Art Collection / Alamy Stock Photo; Right: Public Domain, or survived a case of naturally acquired smallpox at some point is unknowntheres no evidence on record. (Posthumous painting. On September 1, 1730 Benjamin Franklin married Deborah Read. J R. Another note on the title page, made by Lloyd P. Smith, librarian of the Library Company, on May 26, 1880, reads, Jos. For the last 10 years of their 44-year marriage Read stayed in Philadelphia while Franklin spent all his time in Europe. But as in that earlier case, his public chivalry probably disguised his private beliefs. Franklin family members worked in the smith trade for nearly 300 years. Privacy Statement Benjamin had a common-law marriage with Deborah Read, until her death. He found her a good and faithful helpmate. It is the man who should feel grateful that an older woman might deem him interesting enough, stimulating enough and attractive enough that she would choose to spend whatever precious time she has left on the earth with him! His exact birthday is unknown, as is the identity of his mother, but he was born sometime around 1730, and . Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards. In 1727 Potter had ran away to the West Indies escaping creditors. I have been so happy as to receive several of your dear letters within these few days, she began, adding that she had read one letter over and over. I call it a husbands Love letter, she wrote, thrilled as though it were her first experience with anything of the kind. lol. [Original source: The Papers of Benjamin Franklin, vol. The couple had two children. Benjamin accepted the form and function of married lifeeven writing about it (skeptically) in his newspaperbut kept his wife at arms length. Because the Compunction is less. Franklin didnt return Benny Bache to his parents for nine years. Franklin never said his son was sick, but that he had not recovered sufficient Strength. Its possible that Franky had been ill, but was no longer showing symptoms of dysentery. The final productwhich shows Franklins adult face atop a boys bodyis disconcerting, but also moving. By 1736, Franklin had entered the most fulfilling period of his life so far. Articles from Britannica Encyclopedias for elementary and high school students. LOL I didnt just say that! And in turn, Benjamin wouldn't be liable for the debts of Rogers as Deborah's common-law "husband." . Benjamin Franklin was born on January 17, 1706, in colonial Boston. So Franky probably wasnt a particularly sickly child. Despite what late night infomercials claim, the . Required fields are marked *. . . Franklins enthusiasm for smallpox inoculation dated to 1721, when he was a printers apprentice to James in Boston. "Where there's marriage without love, there will be love without marriage." Benjamin Franklin Read more quotes from Benjamin Franklin Share this quote: Like Quote Recommend to friends Friends Who Liked This Quote To see what your friends thought of this quote, please sign up! Deborah Franklin wanted a real marriage. Also, if the mate is not good, even the sex is bad!!! Families were not quick to give dowries to men with an illegitimate child, but Deborah Read's family was. Most likely, it was a disagreement with Deborah over inoculation. But Franklin himself hinted that something else delayed his action and perhaps cost Franky his life. 1744 . For more on the Daylight Saving debate, visit ProCon.org. Deborah left him and moved back in with her mother. Benjamin Franklin pioneered the spirit of self-help in America. If you get a prudent healthy Wife, your Industry in your Profession, with her good Economy, will be a Fortune sufficient. 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