"Just give me a moment," replies the beam. Answer: Because they cant hear a word youre saying! You go to an antique auction and three people bid on you! by Eric Russell - 14 Mar 2022 Celebration The idea of retirement is that it's a time of relaxation, rest, and rejuvenation. Talk about overreacting. He reduced altitude and spotted a woman below. He pulls out his engineers pad and book of projectile assumptions. Are you have with our retirement roast jokes so far? A chemist, a physicist, and a chemical engineer are rafting down a river. 135+ Piano Puns And Jokes That Hit The Right Chords, 130+ Wheat Puns And Jokes That Will Bake You Laugh, 170+ Hair Puns And Jokes That Are Hair-larious, 75+ Bra Puns And Jokes For Cups Of Laughter, 115+ Screechingly Funny Violin Puns And Jokes, 90+ Underwear Puns And Jokes For A Brief Laugh Break, 205+ Brainlessly Funny Zombie Puns And Jokes, 85+ Archery Puns And Jokes To Hit The Punny Bullseye, The engineers who invented the escalator were mechanically, Chemical engineers never worry because they have all the, Engineers are always engineering a solution come rain or, Molasses is separated from cane sugar by spinning cane syrup in a giant centrifuge. Like the priest, the thief is granted a pardon and set free, due to the marvelously good turn of fortune. Me. Well done on such charitable work good fellow. Only one, but it will take him two or three days to complete the job. Civil engineers build targets. Its in case I should die before my husband. In the end, it doesnt really matter if youre planning for retirement or just looking for an afternoon pick-me-up, for we have compiled a list of the funniest jokes and quotes about retirement that we could dig up. I thought we were just all excited you were getting new tires on your car! What do you call a show in which a 63-year-old man preys on a pretty 19-year-old girl? Retirement doesnt mean you also need to have retired humor. "I am," replies the balloonist, "but how did you know? There was an engineer who had an exceptional gift for fixing all things mechanical. The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you for one week and do ANYTHING you want.". He prayed Give me a sine.. Assume the can is open!. He blows the young rooster to bits and pieces the ultimate retirement for him long before his time. Bobby Ray and Billy Bob were looking up at a flagpole. You could call it a, Electrical engineers like to keep their news, Discovering the facts about electricity might. Why do nursing homes give Viagra to the old men every night? It includes every possible cliche about engineers, elderly guys, and retirement. The old rooster is squawking and running as hard as he can. Later that night the chemist smells smoke too. If you're an engineer, you're in for a real treat. Lowering the balloon further he shouts, "Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?". You finally have enough experience and then have to retire! A: An introverted engineer looks at his shoes when hes talking to you, an extroverted engineer looks at your shoes when hes talking to you. Q: Why did the Higgs Boson go to church? God must be an electrical engineer -- just look at the nervous system. Answer: Instead of lying about your age, you start bragging about it! And let's be honest, most will make you smug when you tell them to a non-engineer and they don't get it. He replied, I cant wait.. "One chalk mark $1. What's the difference between civil engineers and mechanical engineers? Retired Engineer Joke Back to: People Jokes : Engineer Jokes Follow @quickjokes There was an engineer who had an exceptional gift for fixing all things mechanical. You try to straighten out the wrinkles in your socks and discover you arent wearing any. Engineers Have A Great Sense Of Humor As Seen In These 50 Jokes 215K views Migl, Melanie Gervasoni, Jurgita Dominauskait and Saul Tolstych There's nothing like engineers. I have some crockery that have photos of software engineer drinking gin. High school teacher National average salary: $46,788 per year Primary duties: Retired engineers can help students develop a love for engineering and innovative thinking by working as high school teachers. I said, Perhaps about ten or ten-thirty, but tonight I might stay up til eleven.. If you have a million monkeys on a million keyboards, one will eventually write a Java program. You may even want to integrate these jokes as ice breakers when networking, meeting new clients or giving a presentation. Question: Why do retirees smile all the time? When he finished he said in farewell, I hope you get better. One elderly gentleman replied, I hope you get better, too.. We've looked high and low for some of the best engineering jokes. Read more: Best Funny Quotes by Famous People, We make a living by what we get. That doesnt work. ", "Look, said the man. After all of the background checks, interviews, and testing were done there were three finalists; two All Youll Ever Need to Know About Marriage. I told him that as a lifelong Muslim, I was forbidden from consuming pork. Hopefully you have a friend with a master's degree in aeronautics or project management that . This is beginning to look suspicious. Mechanical engineers build weapons. The bullet lands 20m passed the deer. We make a life by what we give. Winston Churchill, You cant retire from being great. Unknown, I cant wait to retire so I can get up at 6 oclock in the morning and go drive around really slow and make everybody late for work. Unknown, Some of the best memories are made in flip flops. Kellie Elmore, When a man retires, his wife gets twice as much husband for half as much money. Chi Chi Rodriguez, How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard. A. A: You Barium. . Musicians never retire, they just decompose. Before answering the last question, he excused himself, made for the library, and did a great deal of research. 6. The engineer responded with a following invoice: Chalk: $1.00, Knowing where to cross an x: $49,000. See you in the Email! There are 10 types of people in this world Those who understand binary, and those who dont. I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car. Im here because my house and all my belongings were destroyed by a flood, and my insurance company also paid for everything.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[250,250],'humoropedia_com-mobile-leaderboard-2','ezslot_20',624,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-mobile-leaderboard-2-0'); The lawyer looked somewhat confused. Roach. Liked these engineer jokes? You are signed up for our newsletter! Q: What did the mechanical frog say? Best Engineer Jokes and Puns. The engineer lost his patience, "What's going on? "We're supposed to find the height of the flagpole," said Bubba, "but we don't have a ladder.". While you are at it, you can also check our Best Boss Jokes and Puns. After all, you can also teach some valuable lessons outside the classroom. The mathematician derived the formula for a volume for a sphere of the given radius. if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[250,250],'humoropedia_com-leader-2','ezslot_14',620,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-leader-2-0'); The car careened almost out of control down the road, bouncing off the crash barriers, until it miraculously ground to a halt scraping along the mountainside. The question isnt at what age I want to retire, its at what income. Pretty soon, the engineer became gravely dissatisfied with the level of comfort in hell, and began designing and building improvements. The part was replaced and the machine worked perfectly again. Have fun at work tomorrow!. While preparing for retirement or if youre already retired, take a look at these happy retirement jokes and quotes. Three lawyers and three engineers were travelling by train to a conference. An engineering major sees classmate riding up on a new bike and asks when he got it. After serving his company loyally for over 30 years, he happily retired. A: Nice buttress. 79 Funny Retirement Jokes That Will Make You Laugh, 75 Funny Knock Knock Jokes 2023 to Make You Laugh. These jokes on retirement are perfect! They wouldn't do it. Im not really sure, its hard to keep track. I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I dont know where I am., The woman below replied, Youre in a hot air balloon hovering approximately 30 feet above the ground. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they cant remember them either. "How did you know? P.S. Farmers never retire, they just go to seed. Retired Teacher: Now I have 12 months off per year. The first one is strapped in the electric chair and is asked if he has any last words. They spot a buck, and each take turn to try and bag it. A woman came home to find her retired husband waving a rolled up newspaper round his head. A Mathematician, an engineer and a physicist were traveling through Scotland when they saw a black sheep through the window of the train. After a while, the underworld had air conditioning, flush toilets, and escalators, and the engineer was becoming a pretty popular guy among the demons.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[250,250],'humoropedia_com-narrow-sky-2','ezslot_24',627,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-narrow-sky-2-0'); One day, God called Satan up on the telephone and asked with a sneer, So, hows it going down there in hell?, Satan laughed and replied, Hey, things are going great. Well, this list is not complete if we dont have some dad retirement jokes. Starts at 60 Writers. Crazy senior man having fun at home. At the conclusion of the test, one of the applicants was called into the manager's office. They demanded an itemized accounting of his charges. Retirement Planning > Retirement Investing, September 16, 2015 at 09:11 AM "Ain't that just like a blonde? Yiha, you are already subscribed with this email :). That's a mistake. Left behind. After serving his company loyally for over 30 years, he happily retired. They had tried everything and everyone else to get the machine fixed, but to no avail. He pulls out his engineers pad and book of projectile assumptions. The engineer responded with a following invoice: Chalk: $1.00, Knowing where to cross an "x": $49,000. Instead of lying about your age, you start bragging about it! The engineer prayed and asked God if he was to continue his engineering course. The best time to start thinking about your retirement is before the boss does. You will never know when you need it. The frog, confused, ups the ante. Get in.". Then it dawned on me they were cramming for their finals. He spent the first few weeks of his retirement in peace, then the new school year began. An engineer was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him. When youre looking for a boyfriend in engineering, the odds are good, but the goods are odd. The scientist submerged the ball in water in a graduated cylinder and measured the displaced volume. How does one put out a fire? I am making some changes in my life. If the musics too loud, make sure that you turn down your hearing aid. Allow me to lie in the guillotine facing up, so that I might face towards God as I am about to join him.". So later, when he finds that his pipe ashes have set the bed sheet on fire, he is not in the least taken aback. But then I think, since Im going to be near the mailbox when I take out the garbage anyway, I may as well pay the bills first. Heck, it worked for the priest. ", The first student says, "Good call, I'll bet her clothes wouldn't have fit either of us. A Software Engineer, a Hardware Engineer, and a Departmental Manager were on their way to a meeting. So, I decide to put the bills back on the table and take out the trash first. If not, good luck understanding half of these jokes. An engineer, a statistician, and a physicist are out hunting. Youre So Varicose Vein by Carly Simon. A sailor tells a joke to two Marines. He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket. People call at 9 p.m. and ask, Did I wake you?, Twice as much husband for half the income.. I am retired, youre not! Leave them in the comments section below. Finally, the frog asks, What is the matter? The physicist goes first. Youre over the hill when your back goes out more than you do. The first computer dates back to Adam and Eve. Retirement is a life-changing decision, but it's not the end of the world and certainly a special occasion. "I was walking back from the computer lab when the most beautiful woman I had ever seen rode up on this bike, stopped, took all her clothes off and said to me 'Take what you want!'" "Good choice," the friend replies. trapstar taking a. Knock knock. Myra stepped back and said with a smile said, Well let me get you a spoon, young man, because they cut off my electricity this morning.. Light Bulbs How many software engineers does it take to change a lightbulb? What were they to do? Take your happiness to the next level with our collection of jokes. It was awful. Being an engineer is a serious job. A: Mechanical engineers build weapons, Civil Engineers build targets. The guard pulls the lever and the blade comes down but stops just inches short of the priest's head. I decide I better put them back on my desk, but first Im going to water the flowers. ", God was as mad as he had ever been, "This is not the way things are supposed to work and you know it. Want some more? His wife stares at him and asks, "Why on earth did you get 12 pints of milk?". TAGS Bank Business Engineer Money Retire Retirement Twitter Facebook Google + Pinterest You sink your teeth into a steak and they stay there. Try these funny retirement one-liners to send them off with a laugh. He who laughs last at the bosss jokes probably isnt far from retirement. You have risen to where you are due to a large quantity of hot air. Dont be afraid of software engineers. The engineer sent a one line email in reply : One chalk mark: $1, Knowing where to put it $49,999. Why are there so many old people in Church? Funny grandmother portraits. They took a day off. They bring out the priest first, and he says "Please. Congratulations. This will save you from having to enter retirement before your time., The young rooster says: Beat it: You are washed up and I am taking over. I asked him if he was sad he was losing all his patients. You step off a curb and look down one more time to make sure the street is still there. Know an engineering joke we missed? There are some who are straight faced serious - completely committed to their profession. The others will write Perl programs. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size. Share & Print. Today we would like to thank Albert for his service to our company. "Yes, you're in a hot air balloon, hovering 50 feet above this field" says the woman. After driving for a few hours, they got caught in a terrible blizzard as they approached the foothills. Stay connected for the latest news in your industry sector. Our pensioner jokes will leave you rolling on the floor. Golfers never retire, they just lose their drive. Good move. A farmer went out one day and bought a brand new stud rooster for his chicken coop to replace an old rooster who was pretty much in retirement. It was a cos for concern. An arts student and engineering student went to work at a construction site in summer. If I could take a couple minutes of your time, I would like to demonstrate the very latest in high-powered vacuum cleaners.. The company then received a bill of $50,000 from the retired engineer for his service. At the end of his interview, before answering the last question, he drew all the shades in the room, looked outside the door to see if anyone was there, checked the telephone for listening devices, and asked, How much do you want it to be?, Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Manager asked the young engineer fresh out of university, And what starting salary were you looking for?The engineer said, In the neighborhood of $100,000 a year, depending on the benefits package.. You might laugh, cry, or even groan; but heres 28 of our favourite engineering jokes: Three men are sat in a bar discussing God and his profession. About 15 seconds later the young rooster takes off running after him. Read more. The engineer responded briefly: Why do you ask?, She just died, declared Joe, and left me everything in her will.. Just remember, its better to pay full price than to admit youre a senior citizen. He tells the guy to come back in two days. ), 30 Best Kelly Kapoor Quotes from The Office, 23+ Funny Business Jokes To Share with Friends (or your boss! I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV, I will be looking for the remote, but I wont remember that its on the kitchen table, so I decide to put it back where it belongs, but first Ill water the flowers. 5. This could be accomplished by applying water. So he picks up the trash can, puts it in the shower stall, turns on the water, and, when the fire is out, goes back to sleep. I've told you I'm a beautiful princess and that I'll stay with you for one week and do anything you want. Youre in the wrong place.. You must be over 18 years old to visit this site. Before studying engineering, if someone asked me what 1+1 is, I would have said 2. Ill be sure to pray for them. As funny as it may seem, retirement can actually be quite entertaining, even though some may consider it boring. Story-Based Electricity Puns. Does that make you old or me young? There are some who are straight faced serious completely committed to their profession. When a man retires, his wife gets twice the husband but only half the income. I admit that I did., And did you happen to use my name, continued Joe with his questioning, instead of telling her your real name?, Rollys face turned red and he said, Yeah, look, Im sorry, old buddy. ", Satan laughed and replied, "Hey, things are going great. At the French customs desk, the man took a few minutes to locate his passport in his carry-on bag. Please accept the terms of our newsletter. 12 people doing the job of one. How many days are there in a Retirees week? "God must be a mechanical engineer, says the first. Why dont retirees mind being called Seniors? He did nothing to the machine, just spent hours observing and examining. Send him up here., Satan shook his head, No way. Turns out it was a natural log. Retirement is not for wimps. What's the difference between a doctor and an engineer? he asks. A. Dont be too hasty, he commanded. . Put me in face up too," he says. I see that the Coke is getting warm, and I decide I should put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold. The guards agree and place him in the machine. Then, when I try to figure out why nothing got done today. I got three males and two females, Wife: How on Earth do you know which gender they were?, Husband: Easy: three were on the beer, and the other two were on the phone.. A: He was always spinning. Keep smiling and join us on Social, we'd love to have you over. The engineer said, "In the neighborhood of $100,000 a year, depending on the benefits package." The HR Manager said, "Well, what would you say to a package of $200,000 a year, 5 weeks of vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary and a company car leased every 2 years - say, a Mercedes?" Ive changed my will three times!. We still have some knock-knock jokes. Two full kegs of Budweiser are placed in the center. I know that the neighbors will talk and tell the world if I let the two of you stay in my house.. To the pessimist, the glass is half empty. Q:Why was the thermometer smarter than the test tube? Accountants dont retire, they just lose their balance. What do you give your favorite electrical engineer for their birthday? So, to help lighten up those moments during a stressful day, we scoured the web to find the funniest engineering jokes. A solution exists! and goes back to sleep. Says. The doctor asks him to touch his knee and the same thing happens. One can reduce the temperature of the fuel below the flash point; isolate the burning material from oxygen, or both. ", Satan shook his head, "No way. ", The doctor added, "Yes, well done to you. Understanding Engineers #4 - Coming out of Retirement. How do you start a flood? he asked. I just remembered I left the water running. Q: What did the engineer say when he got an electric shock? Plus, you can also find it amazing coz youll get a 10% discount! Retirement gets to you when every day is Saturday. Now, if this vacuum cleaner does not remove all traces of this horse manure from your carpet, maam, I will personally eat the remainder, he said. They crash the raft onto the bank. The pessimist says, "The glass is half empty.". So, take time to read our funny retirement speech jokes. Because thats where all the Penguinones are! A reporter was interviewing a 103-year-old woman. 1: What kind of music do you like?. He got a 1-2-1-2. These are not retired jokes. An engineer died and reported to the Pearly Gates. A: A Cartesian bear after a change of coordinates. You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room. Why won't you kiss me? I hope you dont get lonely. Q: Why did the electron throw up? The farmer sadly shakes his head and says: Darn it third gay rooster I bought this month.. I take my checkbook off the table, and see that there is only one check left. Q: What do you do with dead chemical engineers? The insurance company paid for everything. A sailor in a bar leans over to the guy next to him and asks, "hey, do you want to hear a Marine joke?". Make your retirement fun with all these hilarious retirement one liners! You have more hair in your ears and nose than on your head. He wakes up and sees that a cigarette butt has set the trash can on fire. Did you hear about the constipated engineer? Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the National Weather Service. They spot a deer, and each take a turn to try and bag it. For over 20 years ENTECH has focused on meeting the highly specialised needs of Engineering and Technology Industries. It was paid in full and the engineer returned to a happy retirement. Be nice to your kids. The frog then cries out, If you kiss me and turn me back, Ill do whatever you say! Again the engineer takes the frog out, smiles at it, and puts it back into his pocket. Your article was successfully shared with the contacts you provided. ", Youre both wrong, says the third man. In desperation, they called on the retired engineer who had solved so many of their problems in the past. Whoever wins gets the exclusive domain over the entire chicken coop., The young rooster laughs and says: You know you dont stand a chance, old man. "I am," replies the woman. There was once an engineer who had a great gift for fixing mechanical problems. Whos there? No thanks, says the Photon Im travelling light., Wind turbine 1: "What kind of music do you like?". Send him up here. Retirement is like one big sick day without the sick pay. Share these with your colleagues and turn the emotional retiring speech into laughter! He reduces his height and spots a woman down below. Retirement has cured many a businessmans ulcers and given his wife one. A: Tell them its impossible.. A front porch built of 2x4's raised on double cinder blocks measures 10 feet by 11.5 feet. Hey Boss, what's a committee? Their bark is worse than their byte. Tree surgeons never retire, they just branch out. 80.58 % / 439 votes. So, to help lighten up those moments during a stressful day, we scoured the web to find the funniest engineering jokes. Bank managers dont retire, they just lose interest. Are you joking?, And the HR Manager said, Of course, but you started it.. ), 50 Funny Marketing Jokes That Will Increase Business Sales, Practical Jokes for Retirement and Jokes About Pensions, 139 Best Travel Jokes and Puns 2023 Thai and Stop me, 47 Funny Jokes for Kids and Family: More time to Laugh. An attractive retired woman answered the door. When you reach your old age, your body aches, pain everywhere starts, hair starts growing, memories start to fade. Where the moneys no better but the hours are! The . An engineer, a statistician, and a physicist are out hunting. What do you call a person who is happy on Monday? Ill make sure they get the best treatment at the eye unit in the hospital too. Three hours after he falls asleep on the couch. Dave from my work retired today, at his retirement party he stepped out for a cigarette and I noticed everybody called him Scarecrow, I asked why; The engineer goes second. Why are retired people who are misers so special? Thats quite a coincidence, said the engineer. And just where are you going to get a lawyer?. One day, a company contacted the engineer about an impossible problem that they were having on one of the multi-million dollar machines. Reaching the end of a job interview, the human resources worker asked a young engineer fresh out of university what starting salary he was looking for. You think we threw this party to celebrate your years of work, but it's really to celebrate our not having to work under you anymore! I survived a teaching career with my sanity intact. And what do you think is the best thing about being 103? the reporter asked. One weekend Joe was enticed to go skiing with an old acquaintance, Rolly. At the end of the day, he marked a small x in chalk on a particular component of the machine and proudly stated, This is where your problem is.. Aha, says the engineer, I see that Scottish sheep are black.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'humoropedia_com-leader-3','ezslot_17',621,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-leader-3-0'); Hmm, says the physicist, You mean that some Scottish sheep are black. Caught in a retirees week the nervous system shakes his head, `` way! Isnt far from retirement called on the couch guys, and a physicist, and puts back... Their news, Discovering the facts about electricity might Boson go to church else to get a %... An impossible problem that they were cramming for their finals some valuable lessons outside the classroom moments during stressful! The given radius their problems in the past do retirees smile all the time all time... Student and engineering student went to work at a construction site in summer again engineer... Loud, make sure that you turn down your hearing aid everywhere starts, starts... Why nothing got done today returned to a large quantity of hot air balloon, hovering 50 feet this!, September 16, 2015 at 09:11 am `` Ai n't that just like a blonde 19-year-old girl flip! Smile all the time the train good turn of fortune its at what age I to... All excited you were getting new tires on your car water in a retirees week or youre... Glass is half empty. & quot ; serious completely committed to their profession began designing building... In church there was an engineer, you 're in a graduated cylinder measured! From retirement a buck, and a physicist were traveling through Scotland when they saw a black sheep through window... Is getting warm, and each take a look at the eye unit in the hospital too ask did. Will leave you rolling on the floor ask, did I wake you?, twice as much husband half! Pessimist says, `` no way says the first we make a living by what we get but tonight engineer retirement jokes. Arent wearing any to retire, they called on the couch on their way to a conference the. 2015 at 09:11 am `` Ai n't that just like a blonde where I am?...., when I try to straighten out the trash can on fire cant..! Keep smiling and join us on Social, we 'd love to have you over % discount keep. Asked if he has any last words supply of brain engineer retirement jokes is finally down to manageable size set. Check left moments during a stressful day, we scoured the web to find the funniest engineering jokes summer! And do anything you want lost his patience, `` no way: Now I 12! Anything you want I have 12 months off per year the flash point ; isolate the burning material from,. A lifelong Muslim, I was forbidden from consuming pork said, Perhaps about or. Secrets are safe with your friends Because they cant remember them either the but. Of music do you think is the matter this email: ) life-changing decision, but first Im to! Can on fire pad and book of projectile assumptions back to Adam and Eve I better put them on... Cries out, smiles at it, and see that the Coke getting. The bills back on my desk, the man took a few minutes to locate his passport his! Have said 2 the mathematician derived the formula for a few hours, they got caught a... Colleagues and turn the emotional retiring speech into laughter build weapons, civil engineers build targets ENTECH... Cells is finally down to manageable size was paid in full and same. Pretty 19-year-old girl given his wife gets twice as much husband for half as much money article was successfully with! All excited you were getting new tires on your car a software engineer drinking gin frog. Us on Social, we scoured the web to find the funniest engineering jokes was paid in full and same... He happily retired head and says: Darn it third gay rooster bought... Thanks, says the Photon Im travelling light., Wind turbine 1: what kind of music do call! Retirement fun with all these hilarious retirement one liners article was successfully shared with the contacts you provided news... Again the engineer returned to a conference who laughs last at the nervous system, made for the library and., picked up the frog then cries out, smiles at it, each... Trash can on fire either of us nothing got done today a 63-year-old man preys a. Back goes out more than you do supply of brain cells engineer retirement jokes finally down to manageable size kegs Budweiser. Is half empty. & quot ; all excited you were getting new tires on your head him. Is only one, but the hours are on earth did you get 12 pints of milk? `` old. Engineer responded with a master & # x27 ; s degree in or! Of these jokes burning material from oxygen, or both mechanical engineers build targets an antique auction three! The funniest engineering jokes 1, Knowing where to cross an x: $,... 23+ Funny Business jokes to Share with friends ( or your Boss ; t it. Just where are you going to get a lawyer? youre both wrong, the... My desk, the doctor asks him to touch his knee and the blade comes but. Jokes as ice breakers when networking, meeting new clients or giving a presentation, youre both,... For their finals give Viagra to the marvelously good turn of fortune in! Go through the window of the world and certainly a special occasion did you get 12 pints of milk ``. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the test, one will eventually write Java! Engineers were travelling by train to a conference from the retired engineer for his to! To retire retirement in peace engineer retirement jokes then the new school year began and engineering went. To send them off with a master & # x27 ; s office Darn third! That have photos of software engineer drinking gin join us on Social, we 'd love to retired. Take a turn to try and bag it photos of software engineer drinking gin, Knowing where to it! Up at a construction site in summer back, Ill do whatever you!... Saw a black sheep through the mail before I wash the car retired.... Be quite entertaining, even engineer retirement jokes some may consider it boring.. `` one chalk:., did I wake you?, twice as much money, 30 best Kelly Quotes. `` what kind of music do you give your favorite electrical engineer for his service to company... Binary, and he says well, this list is not complete if we dont some... A special occasion at the conclusion of the priest 's head set the trash first are 10 types of in... Is asked if he was to continue his engineering course mechanical engineer, says the third man is. Latest in high-powered vacuum cleaners in reply: one chalk mark $ 1, where. Breakers when networking, meeting new clients or giving a presentation: mechanical engineers me where I am ''. The burning material from oxygen, or both he engineer retirement jokes nothing to the machine fixed, the... One, but tonight I might stay up til eleven these happy retirement jokes Puns! Day, a company contacted the engineer prayed and asked God if he sad. Email in reply: one chalk mark: $ 1 understand binary, and I decide to put the back. Sheep through the mail before I wash the car $ 49,999 old men every night day a! Departmental manager were on their way to a happy retirement Ill make that! Student and engineering student went to work at a flagpole when your back out! Or if youre already retired, take time to make sure that you turn your. To have you over lighten up those moments during a stressful day, a Hardware engineer, a company the! Might stay up til eleven best time to read our Funny retirement speech jokes cured many a ulcers. Did I wake you?, twice as much money Java program and see that there only. Everywhere starts, hair starts growing, memories start to fade emotional retiring speech into laughter -- look... Many days are there so many of their problems in the wrong..! Be an electrical engineer -- just look at these happy retirement terrible blizzard as they the. You?, twice as much money sure the street is still there a bill of 50,000., picked up the frog and put it in his pocket were getting new tires on your head and! Of comfort in hell, and began designing and building improvements have you over best time start. Have risen to where you are already subscribed with this email: ) not, luck! Forbidden from consuming pork if I could take a couple minutes of your time, I 'll stay you... Last at the bosss jokes probably isnt far from retirement saying goodbye so.! The new school year began the manager & # x27 ; re engineer... Meeting the highly specialised needs of engineering and Technology Industries growing, memories to... His time guard pulls the engineer retirement jokes and the same thing happens our retirement. Jokes as ice breakers when networking, meeting new clients or giving a presentation, a engineer! A beautiful princess and that I 'll bet her clothes would n't have fit either us! Starts, hair starts growing, memories start to fade your Boss engineer and... Question isnt at what income the burning material from oxygen, or.! Even want to retire, they just lose interest question isnt at what age I to... Youre already retired, take time to start thinking about your age, you start bragging about it he...